Monday, November 15, 2004

Australian Idol - Mediocre Midget Vs Bohemian Belle

Animatronic Ant Vs Gorgeous Goth?
Boring Boy Vs Divine Diva?

I could go on, but I think you might be able to guess who I preferred last night. I can forgive Casey the forgotten lines in her song (although as a performer I find it unforgiveable, I give her a break on this one because she had to do three songs and unlike Anthony, she also has school to go to) but I refuse to forgive mediocrity.

Hellllllllllo . . . . Anthony. Its finally hit me who Anthony reminds me of. The robot boy that Haley Joel Osment played in A.I. His emotions have been programmed in and don't ring entirely truthfully - the reason he never forgets HIS lines is because he has them scanned onto his retina. It also explains why he does the same moves over and over again. He hasn't received the Justin Timberlake Version4 upgrade yet. Honestly. He IS a much better singer technically, but I'd rather scoop my eyeballs out of my head with a dirty soup spoon than listen to an entire album of that level of schmoopy. He did three songs that were almost exactly the same. Three ballads. THREE. For the love of mike why didn't someone STOP HIM - hang on - no, my mistake, he did sit on a stool for one, so they were slighty different. And I may have blacked out for a second from the horror, but WAS HE SINGING THE SONG FROM KARATE KID TWO? Ohmigod he was. In the immortal words of Summer from the O.C. - ewwwwwwwwwwwwww. He bored me. Bored me STUPID.

Casey. Okay so I'm a little Casey biased now due to the fact that I now have to take insulin shots from listening to Anthony all these months. She's Obiwan Kenobe in Star Wars (Episode Four) - she's my only hope. The first song was great and raw and powerful, the second was insightful and sung quite prettily, and good god, she actually made that AWFUL Dianne Warren song sound like it wasn't written whilst Dianne was in the midst of a diabetic coma (and don't question how someone could write whilst in a coma, if you've ever had the misfortune to catch the theme song to the new Star Trek series Enterprise, then you know she does it all the freaking time).

So I voted for Casey. Several times. Annnnnd I also voted once for Chanel. Just in case. She can still win, right? (Did you see Chanel sitting next to Daniel in the audience? Aaaah, young love. And Fosse noted that Ricki-Lee still looks REALLY REALLY REALLY angry. Get over it princess.) And James Mathieson Freudian Slip'd Courtney's name instead of Anthony's in the final two at the end - guess we know who he was voting for . . .

As an end to my musings I leave you with one final Shut. Up. Marcia. Dicko, please take her with you when you go and drop her into the shark pool at Underwater World. They're just nurse sharks, they'll only bite her a little bit . . . (Go Casey. Kick his tiny little robotic ass.)