Bowie isn't just that guy who was in Labyrinth.

1970's. So many great songs to choose from. Heart of Glass, Blondie. ABC, The Jackson Five. Lets Get It On, Marvin Gaye. A Horse With No Name, America. Love Will Keep Us Together, Captain & Tenille. Joy To The World, Three Dog Night. Wish You Were Here, Pink Floyd. Kung Fu Fighting, Carl Douglas. Rock and Roll All Nite, Kiss.
And then of course . . .

Jean Genie, The Man Who Sold The World, Heroes, Fame. Bowie. Is there any name that screams 70’s more than Bowie? Specifically, Ziggy Stardust. (And also Elton John but quite frankly the thought of DeadtomeOnetrickponyLee punkin’ up Tiny Dancer is too too much to bear) Are the current crop of Idols too young to know about/appreciate the Glam(orous) One? In lieu of any decent songs last night (one Idol is exempt from this because the song he chose was perfect for him and an all round kickass number), please find my David Bowie suggestions and how I think it could have gone, versus how it did . . .

DeadtomeOnetrickponyLee
Suffragette City. If DtmOtpL had opted to rock out to Suffragette City instead of playing safe and choosing one of the Worst Songs Ever (better known as My Doesn’t This Song Go On Forever, Sharona?) then he might have thawed the ice around my heart a little. Of course firstly Greenday would have had to cover it so he could blatantly rip off the arrangement, then John Foreman would have had to lower the register because Bowie can actually sing in a decent key and DtmOtpL . . . . can’t. And then someone would have to explain to him what the song meant. Which he totally wouldn’t care about anyway. Actually, its probably better he stuck to The Only Song On The Reality Bites Soundtrack That I Always Without Question Skip Over As Soon As I Hear It Because It Makes Me Want To Throw Something. As it was, the hysterical girls in the audience nearly garrotted themselves to get to him so if he goes tonight we should all start repenting our sins because Armageddon doth approacheth. This will also need to be your reaction should he actually win . . .

TeamKate
The Man Who Sold The World. Anyone who caught Rockstar INXS and saw Jordis sing this song can appreciate what a melancholy song this can be if given the husky vocal treatment that our girl Kate does so very very well. It would have had me in tears of appreciation and thanks, as opposed to the tears of rage that Lady Marmalade brought me to. Karaoke. Pure and simple and I’ve been disappointed since Idol Extra that she had chosen this song. I was horrified that she then sang the fucking Moulin Rouge version and did the bullshit Xtina ‘yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah’ bits and aghast when she stuffed up. But she covered it well, continued to hit almost all the notes and was only slightly pitchy. Imagine my absolute dumsquizzlement when Marcia and Kyle said she was ill. There was general agreement in the ChezBelle household that she kicked ass, considering. And speaking of asses in desperate need of kicking . . . Mark? SHUT UP. Kate is an absolute professional who did a great job, I just despair at her song choice. She hasn’t been bottom three yet, but I think tonight is the night and I wouldn’t be surprised if the first time is the last time and we say our final fare thee well to her . . .

Spillane
Foreigner is your Bowie. Cold as Ice is your Goblin King. Sigh. Great song choice, great execution, really well sung. And so very, very sexy. He didn’t amble across the stage (shut UP Mark), he stalked, he glared, he dismissed us all snottily, he shot the camera the best death stare since someone tried to steal attention away from Emily. His voice and performance has improved markedly in the last two weeks, his last three song choices have been impeccable and he deserved the touchdown Dready got. Unfortunately, he isn’t the judges Favourite Child, both Spillane and Kate are this years Idol Middle Child – constantly overlooked and never adequately praised, who will consequently always do stellar work that will continue to be unrewarded, to the point where they have to go to therapy and whinge about how Mum didn’t hug them as much as their other siblings and they never got to sit in the front seat on long drives and why couldn’t they pick the restaurant on Fast Food Friday just once?


Emily the Cold
Heroes – for the pure and simple reason that I think Emily might think she is one. Gah. Officially my least favourite Idol this season and sharing equal billing with Emilia from Season Two in the movie of How To Get On TallulahBelle’s Very Last Nerve (coming to a theatre near you). Actually Emily is the only Idol that Bowie wouldn’t suit at all because his songs tend to be understated and not the kind of song that you can beat the living daylights out of vocally. Which is what she did with another of my least favourite songs, I’m Every Woman (on Idol Extra she said she was singing it for every woman in Australia. Ummmm. Thanks, but I’m good. If I want a Chaka Khan song dedicated to me, I’d rather it was Pack’d My Bags and I’d rather you sang it while you did exactly that.) The Anointed One sang a third of it well, a third of it pitchy and then proceeded to screech the final third at the top of her lungs and my pain threshold. (So a third of a touchdown would be a tou, right? Tou, Emily. Tou tou tou. Someone should tell Mark to straighten his skirt, his bias is showing . . .) I refuse to comment on her wardrobe – although if you squint when she sings you can now actually see the crown atop her head - and her Sally Fields impersonation. ‘You like me, you really like me!!’

There was another performance. Who the hell was that? I detested Lee, I was angry and then admiring of Kate, I had a private personal moment with Spillane and argued with Fosse over Emily . . . oh yes . . . Boring DreadyDan!

DreadyDan
Starman. C’mon DD, you’re so damn proud of your falsetto, here’s a real challenge. Sing me some Starman, you BIG wuss. Desperado?? That’s a really good song, but you singing it just about put me to sleep. Again. Except that for the first time you were pitchy and some of those notes were SO very bad that it woke me up again. Seriously? This is Dready’s best foot forward? Spillane’s fear is doing some bedhopping. Dready looked alternately bored and terrified last night. Desperado was in the wrong key for him and he looked like he knew it. Another completely stupid pointless touchdown. The touchdown (which had started to lose some of its credibility for me last year when Chanel’s Across The Universe didn’t get one – especially on a night when Casey forgot the lyrics to Eleanor Rigby and RickiLee did that horrible thing that she did to We Can Work It Out) has completely lost all meaning, significance and any semblance of sense.

Sidebar – I never thought I would say this or put it in writing for all to see but here ‘tis. I kinda love the hell out of RickiLee’s new single Sunshine. Along with Spook’s Faster (from The Dusk Sessions available at your local music store and currently sitting at number 2 on the HMV dance chart) once it gets stuck in my noggin it is awfully hard to get it out – and quite frankly, I don’t try that hard. It is pretty awesome. Word from Shaneequa is that the whole album is pretty good as well.

Bottom Three : DreadyDan, TeamKate and Spillane
Safe as Karl Rove’s job : Emily and the Pony
I don’t know who is going. I picked DreadyDan purely because he gives me nothing at the moment. Meh.