I need a 12 step programme . . .

You Know You’re Addicted To Battlestar Galactica When . . .

(‘ware the spoiler if you haven’t seen Seasons One and Two)

1. When you were watching David Letterman the other night and Tricia Helfer was talking about posing for Playboy and Letterman held up the cover with her on it? You got a little more excited than a heterosexual thirty three year old woman probably should.

2. You‘ve started using frakk instead of fuck and your friends don’t even look strangely at you anymore.

3. You google fanfic about Kara and Leoben and even find yourself actively seeking out youtube vid’s where people have strung shorts of the two characters together to the song ‘This Kiss’. And you giggle and applaud like a schoolgirl when you watch them. And you’re only slightly ashamed of that.

3. You’ve had discussion with your cat Giles, about changing his name to Helo. He is not as addicted to BSG as you are, and refuses to answer to it.

4. Because of Callum Keith Rennie’s portrayal of Leoben Conoy, you would no longer accost him in the street, point at him and call him The Guy Who Played ‘Not Ray’ On Due South, or pester him for Ryan Reynolds’ phone number (c’mon, they were in Blade Trinity together, and I don’t care if you’re straight or gay, if you have the opportunity, you’re asking RR for his mobile phone number.) Now you'd berate him for not being available for more BSG episodes, grudgingly acknowledge that he kind of rocked the two seasons he played Stanley Kowalski pretending to be Ray in Due South, and then pester him for the phone numbers of Tahmoh Penikett (Helo), Jamie Bamber (Apollo), Aaron Douglas (Tyrol/Chief) and Tricia Helfer (Six). And Grace Park (Sharon). And Katee Sackhoff (Kara/Starbuck). And Mary McDonnell (Roslin). And . . . hell, you'd just mug him and steal his address book.

5. She’s so good in BSG, that you started thinking the other day about why the hell Lucy Lawless never got an Emmy for Xena.

6. Whilst you’re aware that Gaius is a twitchy, nervous, manic, traitorous scumbag and that Six is a psychotic, manipulative, killing machine who pushes every single one of his buttons and keeps edging him closer to full blown psychosis and who may or may not be a) a figment of his own imagination, b) the manifestation of his own psyche or c) the product of a Cylon implanted chip inside Baltar’s head, you still kind of want those two crazy kids to work it out.

8. Giddy as you are that Hillary Clinton, John Edwards and Barack Obama have ‘formed exploratory committees’ to run for President in 2008, nothing would make you happier then if Laura Roslin could too, because you know she’d win - she’s awesome - and you’re pretty sure that at her inauguration, she’d take the outgoing president and gleefully airlock his dumb ass into outer space.