Wednesday, January 03, 2007

The good, the bad and the blog-ly

So. A new year, huh? This is the blog I meant to write for the New Year but which is late. Which is one of the resolutions I made that I already haven’t kept. And I was late to work this morning. Another of the resolutions that has gone down the gurgler because I only got three hours sleep because I was stressing about money, yet another resolution gone, wave bye-bye as it flies out the window. Crap. At this rate I won’t marry The Clooney, win an Oscar, run the Boston marathon or solve world hunger at all this year.

But here tis anyway, a run down of the great and not so great of 2006.

Mindblowing Gigs of 2006

Frankie Wants Out. I don’t often use the term hepcat, but these cats? Hep. Totally hep. I was at the boys EP launch on Friday 29th December, at the Evelyn in Fitzroy and duuuuuuuude. Firstly, I’ve never seen so many pinstripe suits in the one place in my life (not to mention Men In Hats as far as the eye could see), it was like a We Hate Elliot Ness convention. It was the cast of Bugsy Malone, all growed up. It was ridiculously hot is what I’m saying, and I recommend every man rush out now and buy themselves a pinstripe suit. And major snaps to the boys for a great set. Tight. Tight. Tight. If you like your suits of the zoot variety, if retro is your thing-o daddio and if you enjoy dancing that involve movements categorised as ‘swing’, then these are the guys you want on your iPod. Check out the Frankie Wants Out myspace page and get yourself a copy of their EP now.

Robbie Williams at the Telstradome. I’ve never understood the attraction of a stadium concert, I mean they’re crowded, they’re ridiculously overpriced and more often than not you’re lucky if you don’t get a nosebleed climbing up the Mt Everest-esque stairs to get to your seat. And they don’t give you a Sherpa at the ‘dome, no sir. So if you run out of oxygen or your fingers fall off because of frostbite or your pulley rope system fails and you can climb no further, then your compatriots have to leave you behind at the mercy of the elements and people carrying trays of diet coke and the most expensive and tasteless fries known to man. And there’s no intimacy. It’s not like a Neil Finn gig where you can feel every nuance of his performance. It’s Robbie Williams and eighty thousand other people, a seat where if you lean too far forward you would fall and fall and fall and fall and some point in 2009 hit the ground and it’s screaming chicks who think that Robbie will see them from a thousand yards away, declare instant and undying love and take them away from all this. But having seen Robbie Williams play the Telstradome this year? I now totally fucking get the stadium concert. It was wild, it was energetic, it was frenetic, it was addictive, it was awesome. He sang ‘Millennium’, he sang ‘Angels’, he brought Johnny with him and they bloody sang ‘Me And My Shadow’ for fucks sake! And it was great. Many many thanks to Shaneequa for the ticket (and also for resisting the urge to fall on the floor laughing her ass off when she realised I knew all the words to Take That’s ‘I Want You Back’. Shut up.) and many thanks to the random guy in the crowd afterwards who - as we struggled to get through the crowds like we were trying to get over the Berlin Wall - heartily laughed with us when I faux-screamed out ‘not without my daughter’. Worth it just for Robbie’s Bono impersonation. Ace.

Honourable mentions : Lindsay West’s gig at Musicland where he turned out to not hate me for the horrid things I said about him on Idol Season Three and also to completely rock da house - “Put a band behind this guy and step all the hell the way back and give him some room. Lindsay commanded your eye on stage, his presence was electric and his vocals almost didn't need the microphone. His rendition of Time After Time was everything it should have been on Idol and is yet another example that the show itself doesn't do the contestants any justice. Lindsay, consider me rocked . . .”

Movies That Made Me . . .

Cry : Brokeback Mountain. Fosse played me the BBM music last night and I teared up standing in my pj’s in his bedroom just thinking about this film. My favourite film of the year.
Throw Hissy Fits : Crash winning the fucking Oscar. Gee, did you know racism was bad? Well, it is, as is the script and some of the acting in this smack you over the head with the obviousness of how bad racism is, film. WE GET IT. Racism sucks. So do the Academy voters who gave this shitfest Best Film over Brokeback. It’s Forrest fucking Gump all over again.
Admire Talent : Brick. Joseph Gordon-Levitt has shifted heaven and earth to move away from the character he played on Third Rock From The Sun and whilst Brick is in no way a perfect film, it does boast a brilliant performance. If you want to see more of the talented little bugger, I recommend Mysterious Skin. But only if you want to cry buckets.
Laugh : Little Miss Sunshine. Steve Carrell’s beard, Abigail Breslin’s fake potbelly, the final talent show and Alan Arkin’s drug habit. Best family film ever, I laughed so much I hurt myself.
Nod Sagely : An Inconvenient Truth. Bless you and everything you stand for Al Gore. Run for president in 2008, if it ain’t you or Hillary, then I’ll cancel my FoxNews subscription because the best bit about either of you running and winning will be the exploding heads of Republican pundits who bow at the altar of Rupert Murdoch.
Hysterically Giggle Every Time I Said Its Title To The Point Where My Mother Who Took Me To See It For My Birthday Thought We Were About To See A Comedy : (Motherfucking) Snakes On A (Motherfucking) Plane. Good god, if you didn’t enjoy the cheesetasticness of this film then . . . I have no words. How could you not have loved it? Man, I laughed and cheered and clapped so hard. It was everything I expected. The final credits/music video for Cobra Starship’s song about S.O.A.P. is great and Fosse very kindly submitted to my demands to download it. I’m listening to it right now.
Hide Under My Bed : Wolf Creek – yes, I know it came out in 2005 but I saw it in 2006 and it scared the freaking bejesus out of me. I have never had a movie experience like WC, my adrenalin shot through the ROOF when John Jarratt started torturing those girls and I will never watch Picnic At Hanging Rock the same way again. Grah.
Bored Beyond Tears : Eragon. Those who also fought sleep and the urge to hunt down Jeremy Irons and John Malkovich and KICK THEIR ARSES for signing up for this crapfest are my brothers in arms. Avoid at all costs.

Favourite TV People To Love and Hate

Jonathan Penner from Survivor. Ignoring the massive crush I had on him when he was on The Naked Truth, when he showed up on the thirteenth season his piercing blue eyes, rational gameplay, great accent, disdain for that idiot Probst and his complete and total inability to take crap from the young idiots he had aligned himself with, had me from hello baby. Has officially replaced Rob Cesternino as my all time favourite Survivor.

Damien Leith, Australian Idol Winner 2006. Irish being announced as the winner of Idol 06 was one of the best tv moments of the year, in my books. He was gracious, he was humble, he was a lot bloody shellshocked but he still had the nous to confess that had he been watching at home, he would have been voting for his extremely talented (and already also signed to the SonyBMGBeast) opponent, Jessica Mauboy. He has already outsold both Kate and Poor Poor Casey and currently has the third highest Idol sales behind Guy and Shannon and that’s just with the Winners Journey CD. Just you wait until he releases a CD of the real stuff. Thanks to Team Avoca who welcomed Fosse and myself into their Jessica-loving house for the finale and who were gracious in defeat, take a bow (not you Chrispy, you sit down, you didn’t handle it at all well, mister).

The Idol Judges. Sweet Jesus, I mean at what point exactly did Sandilands become the voice of reason on Idol? When did Mark completely lose his fucking mind and Marcia devolve into the mass of contradictions she has become? Don’t get me wrong, still hate the bastard, but some of the smartest stuff out of Idol in 06 came out of Kyle’s mouth. I know, I know. Sign of the impending apocalypse. I eagerly await the Return Of Dicko in Idol 07 and will be subsequently taping every single episode just waiting for the moment when Dicko completely blows his stack and rams a microphone down someone’s throat. Six months ago, I’d have had my money on that being Sandilands, but now I think it just might be Holden . . .

Honourable mentions, mostly because they’re only fiction : The Doctor and The Girl In The Fireplace; Veronica and Logan from Veronica Mars; Danny, Matt and the Big Three from Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip; and Dexter from Dexter.

Year of the George

Wasn’t it though? People’s Sexiest Man Alive for the second time, Academy Award/Golden Globe wins for Best Supporting Actor, nominated for every award under the sun for acting and directing, he got all up in everyone’s face about events in Darfur, granted he lost his beloved pig Max in '06 but other then that dude had an extremely good year. Even if he is making Oceans Thirteen, for which I don’t think he has any valid excuse other than, he likes hanging out with Soderbergh, Pitt, Damon and Cheadle and hell, who wouldn’t?

Little ol’ me

For me in 2006 I got; little sleep; less money; a new housemate; a step-kitten; the challenge to direct in ’07; lots of The Clooney; a nephew; a serious substance abuse problem, if you consider Ebay a substance; the joyousness of weddings; laid; a callous on my knitting hand (seriously, Friends Of Tallulah, stop getting pregnant, please); the extremely pleasant sensation that waking to the resignation of Donald fucking Rumsfeld brings; to give up coffee; a Split Enz reunion; The Tux; to take up coffee again; foxtel digital; a third season of Veronica Mars; Pride and Prejudice on DVD (BBC version, thankyou very much and fuck off Keira Knightley); addicted to Rockstar Supernova and the hotness that was Lukas Rossi; unwanted kilo’s; not enough time with friends and family; a mid year gym membership that has thus far proven to be both folly and wasted; introduced to my new love, anchovy stuffed olives, the potential source of the extra kilo’s.

So. 2007. Let's dance.