Australian Idol - And The Winner Is (23rd Nov, 2004)

Several things struck me about the grand finale and I wonder if I’m the only one.
1. It was way too freaking long. Come ON already guys just BLOODY WELL TELL US who won so they can put Criminal Intent on – its not going to be Chanel so bring on Det Goren.
2. Too many performances were either dull or just plain bad. I would personally rather watch the Duffy sisters (whom I think are magnificently taking the piss) interviewed on 60Mins than be subjected to Flynn EVER AGAIN. (In fact, could someone give those two girls their own tv show?) The ‘supergroup’ of Ngairre, Liza, Carlos, Adrian and Guys less talented doppelganger - were just plain sucky – out of key, out of sync with each other, no-one was backing the other up adequately and basically? . . . no. Just get off the stage. Now. Oh god – no, don’t come back, especially not with Maaaaaarcia!! (Dislike of Marcia aside, she is still a great live singer – so okay, she can stay. And Ngairre too. The rest of you? GET OFF. Have they announced the winner yet?)
3. I really honestly truly don’t feel like I need to watch Casey/Anthony’s Idol Journey again. (And AI producers, if you’re going to crown her Our Idol, best not to show her fucking up Eleanor Rigby again. Until Mike Munro interrupts the final rehearsal of Casey Donovan's Comeback Tour of 2034 for a This Is Your Life Idol Special, we don’t want to see it again. Possibly then we’ll be able to laugh about it - but I doubt it.)
4. Please find following a list of words/phrases to be struck from next years format :“awesome journey” “girlfriend” “boyfriend” “after the break” “touchdown” “unforgettables”New phrases to be implemented include:“Dicko’s replacement, our new judge Chanel Cole” and “ following the unexpected disappearance of Marcia” (In the probable eventuality of not being able to raise the funds nec for this, an acceptable substitute of simply Shut Up Marcia will suffice. Is it Anthony or Casey!!?? Oh, its another ad break.)
5. Emelia has been taking singing lessons. Amali is still just about the cutest thing ever to come out of Tassie. Dan was never really very good, was he? Angie should have made it to at least the top five. Ricki-Lee has a secret, I suspect it’s a signed recording contract. Daniel still desperately needs a haircut. Marty has somehow gotten quirkier. Hayley adores Chanel and vice versa. Courtney still has one of the sexiest finest voices I have ever heard. (Nothing new struck me about Chanel, she still sounded great, looked wonderful & was the most interesting thing about the fifteen hour finale. Seriously. Do we know who won YET?)
6. . . . did Guy Sebastian win again?
7. The lesson is “less is more” (ah, the irony for Substantial Response Girl). Less Marcia (please god), less waffling and cut the Monday show to half an hour and stop torturing these poor kids!!
8. Aaaah Detective. Now who killed this man? Really? His wife’s hairdresser’s boyfriend’s son’s third grade teacher? Interesting - and you solved the case in under an hour you say? Can you host Australian Idol next year????