Its time for my Annual 60’s Theme Night Disappointment as once again, no-one busted out These Boots Are Made For Walking, Wooly Bully or Sugar Sugar by the Archies. I am a land of bitter disappointment surrounded by a sea of discontent as a wind of snark bloweth over me. Another disappointing lacklustre night of performances hindered by really really REALLY crappy song choices. Really. Weren’t the 60’s peppered with far out groovy numbers that made ya want to shake your thang, or did you need to be out of your gourd on LSD to truly appreciate them? If so, then obviously the judges have themselves some sweeeet dealer because I will accept no other explanation for them thinking Milly was actually good. Oh, yeah, tell me someone was stoned, please.
(Kate has) All My Loving.
Best performance of the night. I LOVE this girl more and more each week (‘ware Roxane, you’re slipping). She has mixed it up, ballad last week, uptempo number this week – she’s showing us range, she’s pitch perfect with everything she sings and she just plain out-awesome’s everyone around her.
(Natalie makes it) Hurt So Bad.
I don’t mind Natalie until she starts singing. She has proven to be quite a funny little munchkin, but the singing is starting to annoy me. She was very Local Shopping Centre Talent Show last night (and I should know, I entered quite a few of the damn things back in the 80’s) What happened to the power ballad Nat? She would have done a fabulous job with What The World Needs Now or a Dione Warwick number, but no. A song that was covered better by Bowie and Jagger, and when I think Mick Jagger sings something better then someone, you’re in trouble. If she wanted to do a ‘cover’ of someone’s song, she should have tried on The Sundays version of Rolling Stones song Wild Horses.
(DreadyDan England took me on a) Magic Carpet Ride.
Songs Movies Have Ruined For TallulahBelle As Brought Back To Life By DreadyDan, Mk II. He made me hate Unchained Melody just a little less. He has a GREAT falsetto, lets hear that a little more, but he backed away from really nailing it. Holden was right, he was worried about some of those notes because he was sweating big time on stage. Watching him I wanted nothing more than a Sing Off between him and the CourtJester – they have very similarly brilliant voices. And MASSIVE props to whomever had the sign in the crowd that read “Lie back and think of England”. Fucking A. A for Awesome.
(Anne) Baby, Its You.
Anne was doing the nervous swallowing thing again, its starting to irritate me – like Paulini’s breathing (yeah, thanks Shaneequa) but she still managed to sing really well, hit most of her notes and once again closely shadow Kate and DreadyDan for best performance. She’s a fairly class act and those of us with Foxtel who watch the Extra show on Channel V know how incredibly cool her mum is. Also, she can sing, so hurrah for girlfrAnne . . .
(James) I Started A Joke.
FIHJ as Tom Jones is the new bogeyman under my bed who makes me have to sleep with the lights on and a baseball bat in one hand. Graaaah. *shudder*
Alright, being objective about his singing? He can sing. He was in fairly decent pitch with this song, he was enthusiastic and approaching HappyLee territory but he gives me nuttin. Best bit? When he tried to get the crowd to sing along and they showed the crowd sitting mutely in their seats just clapping to the beat – but especially that one kid in the front who looked askance at the camera as if to say “can you believe this shit?” With some really decent vocal coaching (and a year or two in a dentists chair) FIHJ could maybe take the world by storm. Regardless, he’s so safe this week you could store jewellery in him.
(Emily says) I’m Sorry.
The only words I want to hear out of Emily is a profound and heartfelt apology for getting the words to Respeito wrong. It is not, nor has it ever been TCP. It is TCB, which stands for Taking Care of Business. And? She shouted the whole damn song. Respect is a very hard song to sing and sound like you’re not shouting and quite possibly Aretha Franklin is the only person in the world who can do it because Mamma has a nice set of pipes. Emily’s aren’t that strong and it was a really strange arrangement. I didn’t get the whole repeating of the R-E-S-P-E-C-T part, mostly because I was horrified that she got it wrong, but doing it twice made it lose impact with me. I was also perplexed that Kyle thought that the previous years winners were so obvious. Really? I thought Cosima might win season one (and still think she could have if she hadn’t shredded her vocal cords) and season two it was RickiLee and then Anthony. Much as I thought Casey was a better performer (penchant for forgetting lyrics aside), her winning still kinda came out of left field.
(Seriously, Roxane) Its Now or Never.
Chipmunk needs to pick it up. She has been bettered two weeks in a row by both Kate and Anne, and her voice is easily as good as if not better then both. She started off weak and breathy but lifted by the second half. I am saddened. And she did sound trepidatious Mark, like she didn’t know the song as well as she should and she doesn’t have Ms Casey’s excuse of school during the day . . . step it up Roxie, I don’t wanna lose you!!
(Daniel, ouch) Are You Lonesome Tonight?
I feel good, da na na na na na na, I knew that I would. Lather, rinse, repeat. Blah. Daniel’s a really strange one. He can sing better than Shannon Noll but he’s not choosing better songs. His falsetto obviously heard DreadyDan’s and fled the building, and once again his IV of Courage (™ Red) has run out and he has The Fear again. He just gave up once he screwed up the falsetto and sleepwalked through the rest of the song. At least he wasn’t shouting, but I think I actually missed that. THANK YOU Mark for calling out Marcia on the fence sitting, gah (you know what’s coming) shutUP Marcia. He was well below par and he should be told that, not mollycoddled. Second worst performance of the night.
(I want Laura) Never On Sunday.
I resisted the urge to use Tell Laura I Love Her, for the simple reason that I don’t, but Laura is totally pulling this years Emilia trick of picking songs that suit her weaker voice and is getting away with it. Its in the perfect mid register for her and consequently she sounded okay. I still wouldn’t pay money to watch her perform or buy an album and I don’t think she should be in BDTT. I did still hate her actual ‘performance’ of the song – Oh look! She’s just so very happy that a guy treated her like shit and her heart is broken into a bazillion pieces, isn’t that neat-o??!! – and thank you Mark and (grudgingly) Marcia for pulling her up on it.
I coveted her boots. I feel dirty.
(Lee, look everyone) My Boyfriend's Back (I know its the 50's but I couldn't resist)
Yay!! Cheeky irrepressible sexy Lee is back with an attitude appropriate song! Granted it was the Smashmouth version but it soooo suited him that I’m in love again and using exclamation points like I bought them on sale!!! He still can’t win (and really, shouldn’t) but damnit, yay for cheeky Lee! He sung it well and performed it well.
Sidebar : I was at Ms Eupholoofo’s place last night for pizza, red wine and Idol and she happened to note, whilst I was in mid-gush about how cute I thought Lee was, that his hair was kinda similar to Tim from BB05 . . . Euph?? I direct you to the following posts . . I love Tim and I still love Tim
(Oh Milly dearest) Don’t Let The Sun Catch You Crying.
She started off soooo promising but then . . . sigh. You told us to 'watch you now' and then bragged about all the dance moves you could do and proceeded to NOT do any of them. I confused. Whether or not we love you, seems to hinge on the answer to the following question (and at the moment ‘tis a resounding ‘no’.) Can you actually dance? Because you can’t hit that note . . . or that one, ooooh or that one . . . please stop. Milly, please join Chris Luder in the Welcome Officially Worn Out Penalty Box. I don’t know why the judges thought that was great when I think it was almost as bad as Laura’s Top 30 performance. Lacklustre, listless and lackadaisical. Worst performance of the night. Consider yourself tipped to go.
So bottom three for me should be Milly, Daniel, James, Emily, Laura etc etc. I think the bottom three will be all girls, I doubt a guy is going anywhere at this point in the game with all the estrogen still in the competition.
Safe as houses : Kate, DreadyDan and Anne. The rest? Its a crap shoot.
(Happy Red??!!)
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4 comments:
Thank you...I am a happy little camper now!!!
Anytime Red . . .
Gosh Millsy . . . really?? It does takes all sorts, doesn't it?
O.o just happened to wander to the world of tallulahbelle. My oh my, what an interesting viewpoint you have.
Love it. Tres cool.
Loves your commentary, more entertaining than the performances themselves sometimes. Keep it up. Says hi and all that.
Um yeah...blinks and goes on a rant because I can, because I can.
Weird-o...erm...eek
Good stuff, again, fab and claps. You so should be a commentator somewhere. But lee?
I have always wondered how it's possible that cheek works. I guess I'll never quite get the whole hoopla that’s why so many find me unattractive victor style. bwhahah.
Seriously...the smurfs are running up the hill and the toad giant crumbles before the mighty fallen. When the rushed hamburgers dug their heels into the deep fried chips and the onion rings splashed some sauce all over the intoxicated chicken patties, the world stood still and the fat came tumbling down. Because you know death by proxy is a hamburger away.
Oh guh, how good is it to write in a smashingly weird way that might go, wtf is that guy on. I so need to loosen up, been trying all year but erm failed miserably. Because you start thinking gee, this guy, talk about a mystery in a half pipe. Inhibitions etal.
Must be the ants in the pants or something. Yikes.
gerr...erm anyway.
Runs along and plays with invisible strings. Puppets, were all puppets I tells ya. In a categorical sense. TV, pfft. Erm...I dunno, I'm not sure why I find this fascinating or not but I do.I kind of go into my own world sometimes.
Oh am so bored right now, wonders what the limit for commentary is. Tries to write crap just for the sake of crap now.
Does my very own mini commentary, because...don't look at me like that. Is that lack of brain cells, I knew I had a spare battery somewhere.
But this years idol, sighs, what happened huh. I golly gosh. I'd have much preferred if that blond rocker dude with the braces got in, at least he had the, gushing heavy rock with psycho death down pat. glee.
But still I guess they are all so meh. But I have to say, why oh why did tarni have to go so early. I know she was a little off but she so deserved to at least go before laura and dan goatee-barf-a lot-spillage-lane, pfft.
At least roxy is still there, but am beginning to wonder...
Oh did I say I have not an ounce of musical talent in my body, can't sing for quips. And sound sooo spaz too. Blasted buttons...needs to spell check this entire ramble.
Oh random huh.
Luffs kate, so hot, and her singing, swoons. Annie, soulful cutie. Emily, well she’s okay but really, two of the same, Emily & Anne, twins. omg, dr Maruei what have you done. My sense of humour so needs an update.
Its like just like my father trying to tell a joke 'so what’s the deal with mark philippoussis these days? His performance is lacking, because he’s so exhausted off court.' Something lame ass as that and one wonders why my sense of humour bites.
Dreadlock Dan is good though, admits begrudgingly. Loiks the guy.
What, where and how did James manage to get into the top ten. That is just sooo retro. Yawns. Someone’s been having too many martinis with martian – yee gads but it was mark that picked em – scary.
Erm, oh yeah laura, laura. Hmm what can I say, I'd have much preferred that chick that panicked and ran out of the auditions in the group performances and bawled her eyes out to be a replacement. Sighs. And mother says she’s so cool, has a Barbra streisand look. Enough said. The nightmares...why did she have to go and say that.
I missed someone, ooh yeah, milly. Unique. She's only a young un. I profess to luff her as much as Kate. Adores. Just something about her. If only she could step up a bit. But in all respects though, I admire each and everyone of them for singing in front of a live audience. Must be such a thrill and shock. I know I'd freeze and probably need a barf back. But milly, raves about milly. Can that gurl do any wrong. Well...chuh...hell yeah. The psychedelic drugs are wearing off. Step it up hon.
Dan-how-to-grow your-own goatee-101-spilage-lane, yo, your the man. I think there is a new definition for irony. My jaw dropped when he became a wildcard along with Lindsey. But to have gotten through over the ever delightful roxy. That is just so wrong, but at least she’s still plugging along. Go roxy. xox as the kiddy winks might say. sheesh, it must be zee goatee he's sporting and that wank leg movement or something, go figure.
Did I miss anyone, oh erm I did talk of roxy so yeah she’s good. Just need to, get a bigger voting audience, lol.
Oh I’m all puckered out and erm feel so insecure about posting who I am now.
gerr. gosh I so know how to shame myself. This just won't do.
All ya need to know, I’m a passive stool pigeon and oh yeah chanel rox moi soxs. Duh. nothing compares. lol.
Me thinks I can write a thesis on that chick. How well do daniel and chanel compliment each other. Swoons at how they found each other, adorable. Kindred souls, bless them.
Yes I hang around at cc.cc from time to time. I'm a spaced out munchkin though. And erm...no...is now so thinking in a third person perspective.
How freaky is this post and more so that am too timid to say who the fuck is that dude writing this shit.
Oh sush.
The nine pits of doom are awaiting, oh wait, must be limbo. I knew I smelled something.
Burning toast beckons.
Needs food in teh belly.
So say bye bye
zoink.
exit stage...looks side ways...anon
bwhahaha...homer simpson phantom of the opera style. lol
eww, not funny.
sowwy
I know, I know, and you think you talk too much, pfft.
If I get started I can crap on soooo much as long as no one sees it happen.
What the mufwah huh. Did I say how not-funny-because-you-have-lint-your-brain I am? Well yes I knew that, shakes head. sometimes I scare myself
ps. Simply me cryptically speaking. Not that we've ever spoken in chat per say.
Goes away silent bob style.
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