In a few scant hours we shall know if Australia values intelligence and wit above a good body and the kind of ‘nice’ that your mother hopes you’d bring home, as Lefty Tim battles Gregarious Greg in a battle to see who will cross the Big Brother finish line first. (Actually, I’d like to think that my mother would be well chuffed if I were to bring young Tim home with me. I know my dad would be ecstatic for a labour, lefty son-in-law.)
My fingers are tightly crossed, my hopes are high and I will be MOST ANNOYED if he doesn’t win. Its been such a good time for reality television recently : first Casey won AI, then hunky NY Fireman Tom won Survivour, Kendra kicked Tana’s ass in The Apprentice and Uchenna and Joyce narrowly won The Amazing Race (also awesome just for the looks of defeat plastered across the faces of Rob and Amber.) Although there was only one of these winners who wasn’t what could be classified as an ‘underdog’ (who didn’t think that if he got to the final two that Tom wouldn’t win??!! It was practically written in the stars. Lordy, I miss that man . . . sigh), all of them were what I would classify as worthy winners who have had fabulous success and generally a really fun time. (Poor Casey. Poor, poor, poor Casey).
Tim is another worthy winner for me. Without a doubt my favourite Tim moment was the infamous Dean Slapdown (both rounds one and two), in which our hero Lefty Tim singlemindedly battled the vainglorious Doodoo Dumper of Evil with nary a thought for the fact that physically Dean could have snapped him in two. Instead Tim used his wits, his very big vocab and the fact that his toenail clippings have shown higher signs of intelligence than Dean, and verbally pounded him into the ground. Twice. On national television. With Dean's little piggy eyes flitting left to right in terror and fear spraying across his face as he slowly realised he had taken on an intellect he couldn't browbeat into submission.
Fucking. Gold.
If he doesn't win, I will cry. Lots.
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2 comments:
I'm so sorry darling.
You have my undying condolences.
Also, my utter contempt for the sensibilities that currently govern Australian Reality Television - that is, horny teenage girls with no more respect for intellect than Jessica Simpson's public image.
I express defeat and slink over to my corner to sulk.
*Sigh*
Have you read my book yet?
I hate this country and the idiots in it. I hate everyone and everything. I especially hate that I don't dislike Greg and think he's a really nice guy BUT I'm just devastated that his Asshat brother gets ANY money.
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