Oscar! Oscar!

My dearest George,

Best of luck tonight, although I know that you know that it isn't Your Year, this year it is Daniel Day Lewis' Year. Even if he already had A Year and technically even though you won Supporting for Syriana, you still haven't had A Year. Although if we're going to make that argument then Tommy Lee Jones is about due A Year, but I would have given him A Year for his fucking awesome mouthwateringly good work in No Country For Old Men. In which he is awesome. So whilst I know you won't win, I do look forward to seeing you once more in The Tux. It's my favourite part of the Oscars.

Be a gentleman and help Cate Blanchet up those stairs when she wins for I'm Not There, she's very pregnant and we don't want her tripping. Look suitably surprised if anyone beats her. Ditto if Julie Christie somehow loses to that french chick for Best Actress, which Fosse thinks will happen. My money's still on Christie.

Applaud with great gusto for the Coen boys when they finally win their Best Director gong for No Country. And if the delightfully named Roderick Jaynes wins Editing, please text me to let me know if its Joel or Ethan who finally confesses to being Jaynes and toddles up to the podium to accept the award. (I heart those boys.)

Start a fist fight if Ratatouille doesn't win Best Animated Film - it deserves it for the scene where The Food Critic bites into the ratatouille and is transported back to his childhood. That scene tears me up inside, it's beautiful.

Hold back the tears when they In Memoriam. Heath Ledger will herald a round of enormous applause and I wouldn't be surprised if there's a small standing ovation for him. My hands will be clapping loudly for he and my guy, Roy Scheider.

And last but not least my love, keep Angelina and Jennifer WELL away from one another and organise a bouncer for the bathroom just in case they feel the need to pee at the same time. Wouldn't THAT be awkard?!

Love and puppies,
TallulahB
xx