Fast Forward

Right, so Thursday night I got home from rehearsal really really late and didn't have time to watch Idol. Since then I've been busy (my hair is no longer dark brown, it is carrot top red and IT WAS PAINFUL) getting ready for my new show and have barely had time to watch the tape - a lot of it has been fast forwarded and that's basically how this recap is going to go as well. It's a quick one folks, with me barely pausing to note the things I loved (Brooke), the things I hated (Brooke getting chewed out by Dicko and Kyle for singing 'another' ballad when she's barely had two minutes of screen time and then NO ONE telling Madam off for singing the same song she originally auditioned with. Hypocrites. They're lucky I don't have time to be scathing.) and the things that were freaking awesome (Mathieson dryly smacking down Dicko and Kyle for see above.) I'm not even going to have time to remind you how much I think having whatserface Coulter co-hosting is a tremendous mistake. Take it as a given. She's still fired.

Next through to the Top You May Need The Y Chromosome To Get In Here 12 is the brilliant Mark Spano. G is wearing the skinny tie tonight - look, the boys are swapping clothes, can a common law marriage be terribly far off? Mathieson announces Teale Jakubenko's jawline is in and notes that the Top 12 is remarkably boy heavy, and yeah. We need some girls.

First cab off the rank (and I nearly forgot that, phew!) is Irae Schwanke - Jesse McCartney's 'Beautiful Soul'. Pitchy, his high notes are not good. This might have been a good song choice (catchy as hell as it is) but it just isn't sung well. I'd venture to say this might have been the worst performance of the semi's. The judges say stuff, I fast forward (have a speed run, tech and dress to get to today, lets just do it people).

Kayla Vanzetta - Leonardo's Bride 'Even When I'm Sleeping'. Kayla's taken the mantle of stupidest hat off The Messiah by rocking a beret on Idol. Frenchie Olly is the only one who could have gotten away with that. It's pretty, if a little oversung and lacking in power but it's very very pretty. The judges say stuff and Kyle calls her a twisted, albino Emo, which ha! Fast forward the rest though, sorry Dicko, I'm sure whatever you said was brilliant and spot on so I'll just blanket agree with you. Next!

Ugh. James Spargo. Snow Patrol's 'Chasing Cars'. He comes across as a nice guy but if he cries ONE MORE TIME I'm going to drive to Sydney and smack him across the head with a copy of the videotape of him overenunciating the LIVING FUCK out of everything he sings. Also, Jacob Butler kind of rocked this song last year in the semis and he gave it a really dramatic ending. Thing is James might have a good voice but WHO CAN EVEN TELL? It's just too too much.

Brooke Addamo is my pick for tonight. God, I hope she gets through, we need some girls!! Jewel's 'Foolish Games'. She steers away from the trademark Jewel nasal singing and although it is pitchy in places, it's still the best of the night. She has good control. I like her.
Judges talk SHIT. Specifically Dicko and Kyle (oh sweet JESUS, Marcia is the voice of reason?) talk shit. Dicko comments that she's sung six ballads in a row and that she's not listening to him - and then he completely stops making ANY sense at all. He rabbits on about her taking a ballad as her first single to radio stations and failing. Dicko? Isn't the first single that you MAKE the Idol release a motherfucking ballad? Are you guys for REAL?? They harangue the girl for about five minutes about this and she's remarkably poised and doesn't throw down her microphone and clothesline Dicko IN THE THROAT. Man, I would have dug my high heels into his thorax for pulling this bullshit on me. I LOVE MATHIESON. Who comes out and points out that Australia's only really seen her NOW and he and Brown Sugar almost bump chests as they stick up for Brooke. Vote her in! Thanks! Next!

Jonny 'no h' Taylor. Elvis? 'Hound Dog'? Really? And it's like the Nick Cave remix version of Hound Dog. It's actually not a bad intepretation, slow and he's given it angst and oh, he's now singing the normal version. My face has literally dropped in disappointment. I like Jonny but I'm not won over by this.
Judges = fast forward. No time, need shower and coffee and then have a 45 minute drive to the theatre . . .

Pimp spot goes tothe pimpiedest (not a word) singer of the comp thus far Madam Parker of the big RnB voice and annoying song choice. Alicia Keyes annoying song 'No One' Madam wails it in that annoying tone that Alica does. I am annoyed. She's a good singer but FUCK I hate this song. She has happily shook the EmilyTheColdlyAnnointedOne vibe and I don't get to the fast forward button in time to not hear Kyle say that if she wants to wear tracki's on stage, she should and WHO ARE YOU? That's SUCH a lie. If she did that, Kyle would shred her to pieces. Tiny wee little trilling pieces.

Madam will go through. That's not even a question. The boys were all crap tonight so it has to be a girl, IT HAS TO BE, please let it be Brooke. Please please please?

I'm off to a very very very long day and I make absolutely no promises that I'll get to Wildcard tonight. We'll see. Ricki Lee? Still fired.

TallulahBelle out.