http://www.angryalien.com/
Because there is pretty much nothing funnier than a bunny saying in all seriousness that "You're going to need a bigger boat". Watch them all, I dare you to be able to stop at one . . .
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
The power of three??
Not to sound obsessed or anything over here, but the Oscar noms are virtually minutes* away and if The Clooney isn't nominated for at least three** I'll be superpissed. In my heart he already has one of the little gold statues on his mantle next to his two Golden Globes (which he actually has) and a framed portrait of me (which, I'm guessing he doesn't).***
*Okay its still a couple of hours but I'm excited!
** Supporting Actor - Syriana
Director - Good Night and Good Luck
Screenplay - Good Night and Good Luck (with Grant Heslov - who you might remember as the third member of the Arnold Schwarchneggor/Tom Arnold spy unit from True Lies, and what is it with actors writing these days? George and Grant on this, Dan Futterman - he played Robin William's son in The Birdcage - co-wrote Capote which Phillip Seymour Hoffman keeps winning EVERYTHING for. It's awe-inspiring and freaking me out all at the same time.)
***And in my heart is where that is likely to stay. Bloody Paul Giamatti.
Editors note : now the nominations are out I stand corrected on one point, Dan Futterman didn't co-write Capote, he is nominated solely for Best Adaptation. He's still not as dreamy as The Clooney, though in the spirit of a fellow nominee, I wish him well. On a side note - GO THE CLOONEY!!
*Okay its still a couple of hours but I'm excited!
** Supporting Actor - Syriana
Director - Good Night and Good Luck
Screenplay - Good Night and Good Luck (with Grant Heslov - who you might remember as the third member of the Arnold Schwarchneggor/Tom Arnold spy unit from True Lies, and what is it with actors writing these days? George and Grant on this, Dan Futterman - he played Robin William's son in The Birdcage - co-wrote Capote which Phillip Seymour Hoffman keeps winning EVERYTHING for. It's awe-inspiring and freaking me out all at the same time.)
***And in my heart is where that is likely to stay. Bloody Paul Giamatti.
Editors note : now the nominations are out I stand corrected on one point, Dan Futterman didn't co-write Capote, he is nominated solely for Best Adaptation. He's still not as dreamy as The Clooney, though in the spirit of a fellow nominee, I wish him well. On a side note - GO THE CLOONEY!!
Monday, January 30, 2006
Damn you to hell, you talented bastard
Gah. Paul Giamatti won Best Supporting Actor at the SAGs. This does not bode well for George's Oscar win hopes.
I say again, gah.
I say again, gah.
Oy to the fey
I've had a gay old weekend, quite literally. Australia Day was spent with the sold out crowd at the Rivoli's one o'clock session of Brokeback Mountain, Saturday night I went to a cabaret performance at Chapel off Chapel called Wooing In The Woods for the Midsumma Festival (for those not in the know, the Midsumma Festival is Melbourne's Gay & Lesbian yearly festival) where lots of Sondheim and Other Great Musical Numbers were sung exceedingly well at me, and then Sunday I went back to the Rivoli with Shaneequa to see Brokeback again. I kinda loved the fuck out of that film.
Oscar noms are announced tomorrow and the SAG awards just started in the States so keep your fingers crossed for nominations for Our Boy Heath (even if he doesn't win, which I still don't think he will, we'll see what happens today with the SAGs) and more importantly The Clooney. He picked up TWO nominations in the Best Supporting Actor category at the BAFTA's for Good Night and Syriana. He's GOT to get a nod for one of them for Oscar and the only way I see him losing the SAG today is to that bloody talented Paul Giamatti . . .
Oscar noms are announced tomorrow and the SAG awards just started in the States so keep your fingers crossed for nominations for Our Boy Heath (even if he doesn't win, which I still don't think he will, we'll see what happens today with the SAGs) and more importantly The Clooney. He picked up TWO nominations in the Best Supporting Actor category at the BAFTA's for Good Night and Syriana. He's GOT to get a nod for one of them for Oscar and the only way I see him losing the SAG today is to that bloody talented Paul Giamatti . . .
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
What the HELL is going on?
Yahoo news have just reported the death of Chris Penn. Chris Penn. CHRIS PENN. What the fuck? He was only 43. He was in Reservoir Dogs. He was in Footloose! With Kevin Bacon! Can we expect the death of K-Bac in the next couple of weeks?
Gah!! What am I saying??!! Bite my tongue, Kevin Bacon is fine, Kevin Bacon is fine. *turns around twice, throws salt over both shoulders just to be safe and avoids all dark coloured cats*
Now, to be fair, Chris Penn was not a small man. Other than Footloose, I can't remember a film when he wasn't . . . large of girth. They don't know cause of death, but I'd bet you a lifetime supply of hotdogs it was a heart attack.
Man. Great character actors are dropping like flies.
Vale Christopher.
When exactly did my blog turn into Graveyard for Great Character Actors? I'd like it to stop.
Gah!! What am I saying??!! Bite my tongue, Kevin Bacon is fine, Kevin Bacon is fine. *turns around twice, throws salt over both shoulders just to be safe and avoids all dark coloured cats*
Now, to be fair, Chris Penn was not a small man. Other than Footloose, I can't remember a film when he wasn't . . . large of girth. They don't know cause of death, but I'd bet you a lifetime supply of hotdogs it was a heart attack.
Man. Great character actors are dropping like flies.
Vale Christopher.
When exactly did my blog turn into Graveyard for Great Character Actors? I'd like it to stop.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Dante's Sixth Level Of Hell
I officially hate the heat with the fire of a thousand blazing suns. Hang on . . . that doesn't work.
I hate the heat with the level of spite and vitriol I normally reserve for ex-boyfriends and the President's Bush - what I like to call Spite Force Five.
Yeah. That's it.
I'm thinking of getting t-shirts made.
I hate the heat with the level of spite and vitriol I normally reserve for ex-boyfriends and the President's Bush - what I like to call Spite Force Five.
Yeah. That's it.
I'm thinking of getting t-shirts made.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Year of the George
A (notso) short list of whom I think will win the Golden Globes starting in just over an hour in the States. Bear in mind that most of these movies haven’t been released here yet so I’m going off gut feeling, reviews I’ve read and blatant bias . . .
Felicity Huffman could quite possibly take both Best Actress in a Drama (Movie) for TransAmerica and Best Actress in a Comedy/Musical (TV) for Desperate Housewives. Reese Witherspoon kind of has Best Actress Comedy/Musical (Movie) locked in for Walk The Line.
The fight for Best Actor in a Drama (Movie) is between Phillip Seymour Hoffman for Capote and Heath Ledger for Brokeback Mountain – coincidentally, both characters are gay. My money’s on Hoffman, because I think he’s more than done his due in the the last ten years. He’s a great character actor and is consistently fantastic in everything he is in, even Twister, whereas Ledger only has one other good film under his belt (Ten Things I Hate About You) and a slew of crap ones.
I think Best Director might be between Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain and my boy George for Good Night and Good Luck. I think you know who I want to win, but I wouldn’t mind if it was Ang as well, which it probably will be.
George however, has the Best Supporting Actor (Drama) all sewn up for Syriana. If he doesn’t win, I shall be most perturbed. I’d love to see him get a Best Screenplay nod for GN&GL as well, but don’t think we should push it. Although, if he doesn’t win director, there is every possibility that Screenplay will be his consolation. (Good Will Hunting, anyone?) Regardless, his acceptance speech for whatever he wins will be great – when he won for O Brother Where Art Thou? a couple of years ago he was freaking hilarious. I have Great Expectations.
TV noms
Desperate Housewives for Best Comedy (where is Arrested Developments' nomination, Hollywood Foreign Press, you bastards?!?)
Lost for Best Drama
I’d LOVE to see Hugh Laurie win Best Actor Drama for House and Patricia Arquette Best Actress for Medium
More movies
Joaquin Phoenix (Walk The Line) or Jeff Daniels (The Squid and the Whale) for Best Actor Comedy/Musical (Movie)
Michelle Williams will most likely win Supporting Actress (Brokeback)
Best Movie Drama will probably be Brokeback and Best Comedy/Musical either Walk The Line or The Squid and the Whale.
My fingers shall remain firmly crossed for George and his films but the gay cowboys will most likely come out on top. If only George had played one of the cowboys then we’d see some SERIOUS award action coming his way . . .
Felicity Huffman could quite possibly take both Best Actress in a Drama (Movie) for TransAmerica and Best Actress in a Comedy/Musical (TV) for Desperate Housewives. Reese Witherspoon kind of has Best Actress Comedy/Musical (Movie) locked in for Walk The Line.
The fight for Best Actor in a Drama (Movie) is between Phillip Seymour Hoffman for Capote and Heath Ledger for Brokeback Mountain – coincidentally, both characters are gay. My money’s on Hoffman, because I think he’s more than done his due in the the last ten years. He’s a great character actor and is consistently fantastic in everything he is in, even Twister, whereas Ledger only has one other good film under his belt (Ten Things I Hate About You) and a slew of crap ones.
I think Best Director might be between Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain and my boy George for Good Night and Good Luck. I think you know who I want to win, but I wouldn’t mind if it was Ang as well, which it probably will be.
George however, has the Best Supporting Actor (Drama) all sewn up for Syriana. If he doesn’t win, I shall be most perturbed. I’d love to see him get a Best Screenplay nod for GN&GL as well, but don’t think we should push it. Although, if he doesn’t win director, there is every possibility that Screenplay will be his consolation. (Good Will Hunting, anyone?) Regardless, his acceptance speech for whatever he wins will be great – when he won for O Brother Where Art Thou? a couple of years ago he was freaking hilarious. I have Great Expectations.
TV noms
Desperate Housewives for Best Comedy (where is Arrested Developments' nomination, Hollywood Foreign Press, you bastards?!?)
Lost for Best Drama
I’d LOVE to see Hugh Laurie win Best Actor Drama for House and Patricia Arquette Best Actress for Medium
More movies
Joaquin Phoenix (Walk The Line) or Jeff Daniels (The Squid and the Whale) for Best Actor Comedy/Musical (Movie)
Michelle Williams will most likely win Supporting Actress (Brokeback)
Best Movie Drama will probably be Brokeback and Best Comedy/Musical either Walk The Line or The Squid and the Whale.
My fingers shall remain firmly crossed for George and his films but the gay cowboys will most likely come out on top. If only George had played one of the cowboys then we’d see some SERIOUS award action coming his way . . .
Monday, January 16, 2006
Oh, for crying out loud
I love The Poseidon Adventure, its one of my favourite films and inducted me at a young age into a morbid love of 70's disaster films - yes, I even like the godawful 'modern' ones like Volcano and even Daylight, which was essentially TPA set in a tunnel with Sylvester Stallone instead of the awesome Gene Hackman, its crap but I'll still watch it if I'm changing channels and I see Amy Brenneman pluckily saving the lives of others by using her sneakers to grab a live electrical cable . . . damn . . . . excuse me, I have to go rent it now - and one of my favourite bits in TPA is the wonderful Shelley Winters telling Gene Hackman that in the water she's still a skinny lady. Her death scene (hope I'm not spoiling this or the soon to be released re-make) after that is truly sad and she thoroughly deserved her Oscar nom. Also loved her on Roseanne as Rosie's crazy ass loudmouthed losing her mind grandmother . . .
Its been a bad couple of weeks for Hollywood. And with the glut of yearly award ceremonies starting tomorrow, (first up are the Golden Globes - The Clooney is nominated for THREE and to prove he is interconnected with everything, George was in the early seasons of Roseanne also) the producers must be scrambling to cut time from something so they can expand the In Memoriam section. Sigh.
Its been a bad couple of weeks for Hollywood. And with the glut of yearly award ceremonies starting tomorrow, (first up are the Golden Globes - The Clooney is nominated for THREE and to prove he is interconnected with everything, George was in the early seasons of Roseanne also) the producers must be scrambling to cut time from something so they can expand the In Memoriam section. Sigh.
Friday, January 06, 2006
i've never been there either kate . . .
I got Australian Idol 2005 Winner (Team)Kate DeAraugo's album from MamaBelle and PapaBelle for Christmas and have been listening to it on and off for the last couple of weeks and I have this to say :
I think it's pretty good.
I love Faded (which I believe will be the next single) and was co-written by those cute little Veronicas girls. The song sounds very Kelly Clarkson in style (as does track 7 Victim), which I think is perfect for TeamKate's husky cords. Maybe Tonight still remains the best of the Idol Winner Singles (Poor Poor Casey - sigh) and I like the version of Heaven they've included but wish it was stripped back even further than it is. I am DEEPLY distraught that Impossible Dream isn't on it - specifically the live version she did at the Opera House where she made my chest ache just a little, she was that good. (Seriously, she sang the shit out of that song that night. Exceptional vocally.)
The rest of the album is fairly standard pop/rnb/soul fare but is still worthy of selling a freaking heap more CDs than it would appear she is currently.
But there are two tracks on it that aren't remotely up to scratch (writing wise) and feel undercooked (tracks 8 & 9 for those playing at home). They have a 'filler' feel about them and practically scream Skip Button at me as soon as they start.
Those two fillers aside, I think this is a better First CD Rushed Out PreXmas So BMG Can Get Lots And Lots Of Sales, Gee That Doesn't Seem To Be Working Anymore Perhaps We Should Let The Winner Have More Than A Week To Record It And Perhaps Some Sleep As Well, What Do You Think Dicko Please Come Back??!!! than Poor Poor Casey's and even a better one than Guy's. (Yeah, I said it.)
So get out there and buy it kids. And get yourself a copy of Spook while you're at it . . .
I think it's pretty good.
I love Faded (which I believe will be the next single) and was co-written by those cute little Veronicas girls. The song sounds very Kelly Clarkson in style (as does track 7 Victim), which I think is perfect for TeamKate's husky cords. Maybe Tonight still remains the best of the Idol Winner Singles (Poor Poor Casey - sigh) and I like the version of Heaven they've included but wish it was stripped back even further than it is. I am DEEPLY distraught that Impossible Dream isn't on it - specifically the live version she did at the Opera House where she made my chest ache just a little, she was that good. (Seriously, she sang the shit out of that song that night. Exceptional vocally.)
The rest of the album is fairly standard pop/rnb/soul fare but is still worthy of selling a freaking heap more CDs than it would appear she is currently.
But there are two tracks on it that aren't remotely up to scratch (writing wise) and feel undercooked (tracks 8 & 9 for those playing at home). They have a 'filler' feel about them and practically scream Skip Button at me as soon as they start.
Those two fillers aside, I think this is a better First CD Rushed Out PreXmas So BMG Can Get Lots And Lots Of Sales, Gee That Doesn't Seem To Be Working Anymore Perhaps We Should Let The Winner Have More Than A Week To Record It And Perhaps Some Sleep As Well, What Do You Think Dicko Please Come Back??!!! than Poor Poor Casey's and even a better one than Guy's. (Yeah, I said it.)
So get out there and buy it kids. And get yourself a copy of Spook while you're at it . . .
Thursday, January 05, 2006
An open letter to the new kid on the block
Dear 2006,
Hi there. How you doing so far? Not so great, right? I mean, we’re just five days in and I think we’re off to a bit of a rocky start, what with Ariel Sharon and no decision on the fate of Arrested Development yet and another year where it doesn’t look like George Bush will keep his yap shut. I can see you’ve got your hands full already, but I just wanted to touch base with you about me. I know its selfish to be thinking of me when Lindsay Lohan is battling drugs and bulimia, but hey - if I don’t worry about me, who will? (You know, other than my mother.)
I do have a few complaints regarding your predecessor. 2005 wasn’t . . . great to me. For most of January I thought things were going to be okay, but towards the end of that first month shit kind of started sliding uphill, my feet got dirty and the whole thing - well - it just lost momentum that I never really got back. In short, it sucked. Now, I can’t lay the blame all at 2005’s feet, a lot of the screwups were my own, but I think its fair to say that 2005 didn’t really try to make things any easier on me. Once one little thing went wrong, a BUNCH of others went ass up as well, almost as though 2005 got some kind of perverse pleasure seeing how far it could push me before I cracked.
I’d like to think that we can get beyond any and all past indiscretions and to that end, I’d appreciate if you threw out the - I’m sure - quite damning TallulahBelle manila folder 2005 has left on your desk. Wowwww. Look at that thing, how many pages is that? Its quite comprehensive isn’t it? Can I just have a look at what it says about June 28th . . . oh DUDE, that is so not cool, I was having a very tough week when I said that . . . what about the week I . . . HEY . . . come ON, I apologised NUMEROUS times for those remarks and WHERE does 2005 think it gets off drawing a moustache and glasses on my headshot like that?? God, how many servings of humble pie do I need to eat? That is just ridiculously childish and . . . NO. I will not dwell on it any further, look seriously, just put this whole file in the bin, its just mean and spiteful and frankly quite typical of the relationship 2005 and I shared and I think you and I are better than that.
Thankyou.
I think you and I can come together and enjoy a non-hostile working relationship. I feel good about 2006, I really do. I see great things in our future together, a lot of mutual back scratching and general fabulousness. I just want what everyone else wants from you. A happy home, happy relationship, a little world peace and several awards of note for George Clooney - acting or directing, I'm not fussy.
Anyway, please enjoy the chocolates and the flowers and the muffin gift basket. Feel free to drop me a line anytime, I’m always available for chats and discussions with you.
2006 and me = Best Friends Forever!!
Love TallulahBelle
xx
PS 2005 had several extra unwanted kilos delivered to my ass and upper body last year. What’s your returns policy?
Hi there. How you doing so far? Not so great, right? I mean, we’re just five days in and I think we’re off to a bit of a rocky start, what with Ariel Sharon and no decision on the fate of Arrested Development yet and another year where it doesn’t look like George Bush will keep his yap shut. I can see you’ve got your hands full already, but I just wanted to touch base with you about me. I know its selfish to be thinking of me when Lindsay Lohan is battling drugs and bulimia, but hey - if I don’t worry about me, who will? (You know, other than my mother.)
I do have a few complaints regarding your predecessor. 2005 wasn’t . . . great to me. For most of January I thought things were going to be okay, but towards the end of that first month shit kind of started sliding uphill, my feet got dirty and the whole thing - well - it just lost momentum that I never really got back. In short, it sucked. Now, I can’t lay the blame all at 2005’s feet, a lot of the screwups were my own, but I think its fair to say that 2005 didn’t really try to make things any easier on me. Once one little thing went wrong, a BUNCH of others went ass up as well, almost as though 2005 got some kind of perverse pleasure seeing how far it could push me before I cracked.
I’d like to think that we can get beyond any and all past indiscretions and to that end, I’d appreciate if you threw out the - I’m sure - quite damning TallulahBelle manila folder 2005 has left on your desk. Wowwww. Look at that thing, how many pages is that? Its quite comprehensive isn’t it? Can I just have a look at what it says about June 28th . . . oh DUDE, that is so not cool, I was having a very tough week when I said that . . . what about the week I . . . HEY . . . come ON, I apologised NUMEROUS times for those remarks and WHERE does 2005 think it gets off drawing a moustache and glasses on my headshot like that?? God, how many servings of humble pie do I need to eat? That is just ridiculously childish and . . . NO. I will not dwell on it any further, look seriously, just put this whole file in the bin, its just mean and spiteful and frankly quite typical of the relationship 2005 and I shared and I think you and I are better than that.
Thankyou.
I think you and I can come together and enjoy a non-hostile working relationship. I feel good about 2006, I really do. I see great things in our future together, a lot of mutual back scratching and general fabulousness. I just want what everyone else wants from you. A happy home, happy relationship, a little world peace and several awards of note for George Clooney - acting or directing, I'm not fussy.
Anyway, please enjoy the chocolates and the flowers and the muffin gift basket. Feel free to drop me a line anytime, I’m always available for chats and discussions with you.
2006 and me = Best Friends Forever!!
Love TallulahBelle
xx
PS 2005 had several extra unwanted kilos delivered to my ass and upper body last year. What’s your returns policy?
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
He was in The Rock and Green Card.
John Spencer would have been 59 today.
He died suddenly Friday morning (US time) of a heart attack. Chances are you didn’t know his name, but you would have recognised his face. He starred in LA Law for a while, and for years after that show ended whenever I saw him in a film or gueststarring on something, I called him Tommy (after his LaLa character). It wasn’t until The West Wing and the complete and utter melding of actor and character that Tommy became John Spencer again, who in turn became Leo McGarry. Leo McGarry was his character on TWW, recovering alcoholic, Chief of Staff, one of my favourite characters in one of my alltime favourite shows (and quite frankly a representation of how I wish the White House currently was - ie full of democrats).
He was an astounding character actor who imbued Leo McGarry with a warmth and believability that is often missing from TV drama. Along with the Soprano’s (both shows started in 1999 and hit Australian TV around the same time and were both unceremoniously dumped in the latenight time slot for vampires and those of us who exist on five hours sleep a night) and in later years Six Feet Under, The West Wing reinvented drama television. Smart writing, smart characters, whip fast dialogue that didn’t stop to let you catch up and the assumption that their audience was smart enough not to be needed to be spoon fed information. Watching the first few seasons of TWW was better than any uni course on How American Politics Works could ever be. I learned about the filibuster, I learned about lame duck congress, I learned about congress and what gubernatorial meant. When That Awful Thing That I Still Can’t Talk About Without Going Into A Mouth Foaming Rage (better known as the stolen 2000 elections) happened, I found myself glued to CNN and Fox and I was understanding (but not really liking so much) what Tucker Carlson and Bill O’Reilly and James Carville were telling me about the Senate and the House and why the Supreme Court was so heavily Republican and why this horrid, horrid thing was happening.
In 2001 when the actually really awful thing happened and the planes hit the twin towers, I will always remember that it was reported during the last ad break of an especially poignant episode of TWW (18th and Potomac). A favourite character (White House Presidential Secretary, Mrs Landingham) had been killed in a car accident and Charlie (Presidential Aide) was breaking the news to Leo. The camera just . . . stays on John Spencer’s face as Leo digests this news. It is heartbreakingly beautifully acted. In fact, acted doesn’t even seem the right word, because it connotes a certain artificiality and there was nothing artificial about John Spencer’s Leo McGarry. It seems fitting that the season he won an Emmy for was that second season, he deserved it for that scene alone.
The acting world is a lesser one for the loss of this great character actor but with three seasons left that I haven’t fully seen yet (thank YOU very much Channel Nine, please be good to the fans ABC) including the seventh season currently airing in the states, at least I have a lot more John Spencer and Leo McGarry to look forward to.
And that’s not a bad thing.
Vale John. Happy birthday, we miss you already.
He died suddenly Friday morning (US time) of a heart attack. Chances are you didn’t know his name, but you would have recognised his face. He starred in LA Law for a while, and for years after that show ended whenever I saw him in a film or gueststarring on something, I called him Tommy (after his LaLa character). It wasn’t until The West Wing and the complete and utter melding of actor and character that Tommy became John Spencer again, who in turn became Leo McGarry. Leo McGarry was his character on TWW, recovering alcoholic, Chief of Staff, one of my favourite characters in one of my alltime favourite shows (and quite frankly a representation of how I wish the White House currently was - ie full of democrats).
He was an astounding character actor who imbued Leo McGarry with a warmth and believability that is often missing from TV drama. Along with the Soprano’s (both shows started in 1999 and hit Australian TV around the same time and were both unceremoniously dumped in the latenight time slot for vampires and those of us who exist on five hours sleep a night) and in later years Six Feet Under, The West Wing reinvented drama television. Smart writing, smart characters, whip fast dialogue that didn’t stop to let you catch up and the assumption that their audience was smart enough not to be needed to be spoon fed information. Watching the first few seasons of TWW was better than any uni course on How American Politics Works could ever be. I learned about the filibuster, I learned about lame duck congress, I learned about congress and what gubernatorial meant. When That Awful Thing That I Still Can’t Talk About Without Going Into A Mouth Foaming Rage (better known as the stolen 2000 elections) happened, I found myself glued to CNN and Fox and I was understanding (but not really liking so much) what Tucker Carlson and Bill O’Reilly and James Carville were telling me about the Senate and the House and why the Supreme Court was so heavily Republican and why this horrid, horrid thing was happening.
In 2001 when the actually really awful thing happened and the planes hit the twin towers, I will always remember that it was reported during the last ad break of an especially poignant episode of TWW (18th and Potomac). A favourite character (White House Presidential Secretary, Mrs Landingham) had been killed in a car accident and Charlie (Presidential Aide) was breaking the news to Leo. The camera just . . . stays on John Spencer’s face as Leo digests this news. It is heartbreakingly beautifully acted. In fact, acted doesn’t even seem the right word, because it connotes a certain artificiality and there was nothing artificial about John Spencer’s Leo McGarry. It seems fitting that the season he won an Emmy for was that second season, he deserved it for that scene alone.
The acting world is a lesser one for the loss of this great character actor but with three seasons left that I haven’t fully seen yet (thank YOU very much Channel Nine, please be good to the fans ABC) including the seventh season currently airing in the states, at least I have a lot more John Spencer and Leo McGarry to look forward to.
And that’s not a bad thing.
Vale John. Happy birthday, we miss you already.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
I think I'll see fat Clooney instead, thanks.
King Kong is three hours long. Sorry, its over three hours long. Seriously. No, seriously, it is. It is 187 minutes. Does Peter Jackson not own a watch or have ANY concept of time - and the bladder and its tendency to make you want to, you know, PEE at the two and a half hour mark - at all? And also? Movie about an ape. Starring Naomi Watts. Three hours of Naomi Watts. Look, I like her a lot more than I like her sharper, less talented twin Nicole Kidman - and no I don't know why she has an Academy Award but I suspect it was some kind of payoff for being married to That Scientologist* - but still. (Nicole and Naomi apparently both went to the same school of Open Mouthed Acting. Watch The Ring and The Others back to back, you'll see what I mean.) I don't think I care enough about this film to sit through three freaking hours. I don't care if Jack Black and Colin Hanks are in it. I don't.
Syriana - 126 minutes. George Clooney, Matt Damon, Jeffrey Wright, Amanda Peet. Okay, so The Clooney may have put on 35 pounds and nearly killed himself during this film but I could watch Syriana and then walk straight into a screening of Good Night and Good Luck which is 93 minutes and The Clooney in black and white (yummy!) - and also the immensely talented and underrated David Strathairn and Robert Downey jr and The Clooney directing - and still meet up with people seeing King Kong for coffee afterwards (admittedly this only works if Syriana and GN&GL have no ads or trailers and KK has the usual bloated half hour of previews . . .) Guess which option I'm going to take? You only get one guess and if its wrong you need to stop being someone I know . . .
*Oh, alright. Nicole was extremely good in The Hours, there I said it. I don't think she was better than Julianne Moore was in that film but she was still extremely good and probably deserved to win. Happy Fosse? Begrudglingly sharing that has made me feel dirty . . .
Syriana - 126 minutes. George Clooney, Matt Damon, Jeffrey Wright, Amanda Peet. Okay, so The Clooney may have put on 35 pounds and nearly killed himself during this film but I could watch Syriana and then walk straight into a screening of Good Night and Good Luck which is 93 minutes and The Clooney in black and white (yummy!) - and also the immensely talented and underrated David Strathairn and Robert Downey jr and The Clooney directing - and still meet up with people seeing King Kong for coffee afterwards (admittedly this only works if Syriana and GN&GL have no ads or trailers and KK has the usual bloated half hour of previews . . .) Guess which option I'm going to take? You only get one guess and if its wrong you need to stop being someone I know . . .
*Oh, alright. Nicole was extremely good in The Hours, there I said it. I don't think she was better than Julianne Moore was in that film but she was still extremely good and probably deserved to win. Happy Fosse? Begrudglingly sharing that has made me feel dirty . . .
Friday, December 09, 2005
Yeah? Well, you can take your Yuletide spirit and SHOVE IT.
Shut up tinsel. Shut up dancing Santa. Shut up parking at Chadstone Shopping Centre. (What's that, random lady in the blue Mitsubishi? You were there first? Actually, you weren't, that car in front of me was AND he had his indicator on indicating that he was taking that spot before you even turned down this aisle so don't you DARE honk your horn angrily at him and then yell at me when I tell you he was there first because darling? I DON'T CARE. I'm still desperately trying to find a spot for myself and have been for about 25 minutes and I just want to get into Bra's N Things and spend this voucher and it will take less time to do that than it has taken to park, so take your road rage and SHOVE IT.) Shut up carols piped into local Coles. Shut up stupid Christmas Card list. Shut up personal inability to cope with people humming and/or whistling Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. Shut UP overdrawn credit cards and definitely shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP measly $15.00 left until payday.
Christmas is cancelled. Do you hear me? CANCELLED. Bah, humbug. Unless someone finally gets me that George Clooney I've had my eye on and wanted for ages . . .
Christmas is cancelled. Do you hear me? CANCELLED. Bah, humbug. Unless someone finally gets me that George Clooney I've had my eye on and wanted for ages . . .
Thursday, December 08, 2005
I also worry too much
If one of the signs that you're having a stroke is smelling toast where there is no toast, what does it mean when you smell raison toast where there is no raison toast?
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Friends, schmends
So I did it. I took life by the horns, looked into the abyss, swallowed my pride, reached out and touched the face of . . . rejection. Yep. Rejection. Bruno turned me down, he ‘just wants to be friends’ and that’s okay. Really. No, it is, I promise. Because the deal was that I actually do something and tell him that I liked him, regardless of the outcome. It was almost more about me not letting life idly pass me by and taking a chance then it was about a potential boyfriend. That being said, it still sucks that the mutual three month Flirt-a-thon went nowhere.
The only problem with 'just being friends' is that I already have That Guy in my life, the guy that I liked for a really really really long time who only wanted to be friends, and its taken me almost four years to get to the stage where I actually do count him as a friend. Four long crazy tears on my pillow miserable freaking years. I don’t need another one of them - seriously I don't and my poor The Shoulders That I Cry On, I mean my friends, don't need me to have another one of them either.
So I said adios to Bruno. Sayonara dude.
And its for the best really, because I know me. If we meet up for a friendly coffee, I’ll read a ridiculous amount into every little thing he says, every glance will be dripping with meaning in my little crush addled mind and I’ll drive myself and everyone around me FUCKING INSANE. I’ll be like one of those little white yappy dogs, constantly chasing my own tail and getting nowhere and generally annoying the living SHIT out of people. So as much as I will miss him, he has been wiped from my mobile and email account, the better to not accidentally maybe just send him one tiny little email and if he replies well it totally must mean he misses me and is rethinking this whole friends thing, right?
No. There will be none of that.
What there will be is moving on-ness. Besides, I like to think that when Life gives you lemons, you should just squeeze some juice into that bitch’s eyes and when she’s on the ground yelping in citrus-y pain, kick Life in the ribs until she cries Uncle.
Heh heh.
Buh-bye Bruno. Next.
The only problem with 'just being friends' is that I already have That Guy in my life, the guy that I liked for a really really really long time who only wanted to be friends, and its taken me almost four years to get to the stage where I actually do count him as a friend. Four long crazy tears on my pillow miserable freaking years. I don’t need another one of them - seriously I don't and my poor The Shoulders That I Cry On, I mean my friends, don't need me to have another one of them either.
So I said adios to Bruno. Sayonara dude.
And its for the best really, because I know me. If we meet up for a friendly coffee, I’ll read a ridiculous amount into every little thing he says, every glance will be dripping with meaning in my little crush addled mind and I’ll drive myself and everyone around me FUCKING INSANE. I’ll be like one of those little white yappy dogs, constantly chasing my own tail and getting nowhere and generally annoying the living SHIT out of people. So as much as I will miss him, he has been wiped from my mobile and email account, the better to not accidentally maybe just send him one tiny little email and if he replies well it totally must mean he misses me and is rethinking this whole friends thing, right?
No. There will be none of that.
What there will be is moving on-ness. Besides, I like to think that when Life gives you lemons, you should just squeeze some juice into that bitch’s eyes and when she’s on the ground yelping in citrus-y pain, kick Life in the ribs until she cries Uncle.
Heh heh.
Buh-bye Bruno. Next.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
What Katie Did Next
An amalgamation of every week by week post I wrote about Kate because I am lazy and can't be bothered thinking up new stuff . . .
Top 30 performance
Kate – the love child of Renee Geyer and Sting. Nice husky vocal chords. Kate lulled me into thinking she was just another Queen of Mugging and then she shazaam-ed me with her song. Just great, but she needs to stop bollocksing around with her hair and letting them turn her into too much of a girl if she’s that uncomfortable with it. Deserves to be Top Three, but with Tarni making it through last week there may not be enough room for her.
Australian Week
Ladies and Gentleman, the best female performance of the night, I give you Kate. Lovely work, Clone of Renee Geyer. It finished . . . weird, but it was beautifully and soulfully done. Just lovely.
60’s Week
(Kate has) All My Loving.Best performance of the night. I LOVE this girl more and more each week (‘ware Roxane, you’re slipping). She has mixed it up, ballad last week, uptempo number this week – she’s showing us range, she’s pitch perfect with everything she sings and she just plain out-awesome’s everyone around her.
Rock Supergroups
Kate? I . . . don’t understand. Why are you not great? Did your kitty die? Is it because the Eagles lost? The first time I’ve heard Pitchy Kate, Breathy Kate and Slightly Off Tune Kate. I am saddened, I don’t like this Kate, I want Great Kate back. She’s still fabulous though (and was awesome at the AFL Grand Final at the weekend and the only one who sounded even halfway decent).
Ahem.
TUCKSHOP ARMS. TUCKSHOP ARMS???!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuck off Kyle.
Contestants Choice
I heart Kate. With every fibre of my being. Shheeeeeeee’s baaaaaaaaack. Rebounding back from the lacklustre-ness that was Kate Doing Queen, Kate takes a pass from Anastacia, Harlem Globe Trotter’s her way down the court and slamDUNKS the ball, shattering the backboard and scoring two much needed points for Team Kate. Kate’s lower register is still a little weak sometimes but she has an infectious vibrancy and a glow that translates ridiculously well onscreen. I still find it hard to believe that this girl is only nineteen, because her professionalism and maturity outstrips most of the other contestants. Kate has officially taken up the title of TallulahBelle’s Favourite Idol This Year. Go Team Kate!
Big Band
Lets get ready to RUUUUUMBLE. TeamKate tackles Anne for best performance of the night but Anne totally flips her and pins her to the floor (oooh, look at me with all the sports analogies! I’m sorry, I’ll stop now – mostly because I’m getting out of my depth.) Kate was still fantastic, at Chez Shaneequa we could only pick one obviously pitch weak moment, the rest was vocally without flaw. This girl is just fab and I admire the hell out of her for coming in every week and doing great work. Both Anne and Kate do consistently well and out perform the majority of the other contestants, but week after week they seem to be damned with faint praise. Colour me confused.
80’s Week
TeamKate should be a little worried tonight. There is a very real chance, she’ll bottom three tonight, although if I had my way she’d be one of the final two standing in this comp. I thought she was joyful tonight, very infectious. She was enjoying herself on stage and I loved the ponytail, I just wish she’d done some Madonna or Cher – that would have been awesome. I don’t get what Holden is talking about, I don’t think of this song as a song about passion, but rather a song of joy and happiness which I thought she totally nailed. It’s Chaka Khan, not Don’t Cry For Me Argentina. Buuuuut. Not my favourite Kate performance and I am concerned for her.
Up Close & Personal
Ironic – Alanis Morissette. I really liked what TeamKate did with this song. She fiddled nicely with the melody and ‘put her own stamp’ on it. I do kind of wish she’d picked one of Alanis’ better songs but out of all the Idols she was the only one to pick something that probably 95% of the audience will recognise, which surely works in her favour. I just want her to mix it up a little bit more.
Mo-town
I Wish - Stevie Wonder. I only caught the tail end of this on my first viewing so initially my only reaction was to scream at the tv screen as Asshat Kyle waxed long and lyrical about the FUCKING TAN LINES under Kate’s arms. Yes, read that again. The TAN LINES. If it was not already screamingly obvious that this man knows as much about the music industry as I do about the breeding habits of the mongoose, then it REALLY is now. You see, I know the mongoose exists, I know that there have been mongeese in the past and can posit the theory that there will be mongeese in the future, therefore the mongoose must possess breeding habits. But I don’t know what or how they work, so I don’t pretend to be an expert on the subject and appear on Australian Mongoose and give my opinion to the previously perfectly happy and healthy mongeese who worked their little mongeesey butts off to get to the Final Six ONLY to be told they’ll never make it in the industry because although they killed that snake perfectly, they don’t have the sartorial elegance to pull off walking the red carpet as they have stubby tails and the fur on their heads doesn’t match the fur on their hind legs as pleasingly as it could. Ass.Upon second viewing I concurred with the opinions of most. She rocked. I love her and wish her all the best as the Person Who Comes Second In Australian Idol And Somehow Does Better Than The Winner.
70’s Week (Or Songs They Should Have Done by Bowie)
The Man Who Sold The World. Anyone who caught Rockstar INXS and saw Jordis sing this song can appreciate what a melancholy song this can be if given the husky vocal treatment that our girl Kate does so very very well. It would have had me in tears of appreciation and thanks, as opposed to the tears of rage that Lady Marmalade brought me to. Karaoke. Pure and simple and I’ve been disappointed since Idol Extra that she had chosen this song. I was horrified that she then sang the fucking Moulin Rouge version and did the bullshit Xtina ‘yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah’ bits and aghast when she stuffed up. But she covered it well, continued to hit almost all the notes and was only slightly pitchy. Imagine my absolute dumsquizzlement when Marcia and Kyle said she was ill. There was general agreement in the ChezBelle household that she kicked ass, considering. And speaking of asses in desperate need of kicking . . . Mark? SHUT UP. Kate is an absolute professional who did a great job, I just despair at her song choice. She hasn’t been bottom three yet, but I think tonight is the night and I wouldn’t be surprised if the first time is the last time and we say our final fare thee well to her . . .
Elvis Week
Burning Love. I really enjoyed this. It wasn’t perfect, but it was pitch perfect and by GOD, she looked like she was having fun. Imagine that you are Kate for a moment. Everyone around you has received a touchdown. At one point or another in the competition the other three contestants have been told they will probably win Idol or have a long wonderful career ahead of them. Whenever you go to meetNgreets the crowds scream their little girly lungs out for Lee/Emily and occasionally DreadyDan. You make the final four and it hits you. You’re Hayley from Season Two. You have a lovely voice, a charming personality but everyone seems a little confused as to how you’ve made it as far as you have. Now I personally prefer Kate’s voice to Hayley and think that Kate deserves to be final two, but history (Paulini and Hayley) tells us that fourth is as good as she gets. Do you mope around and give halfhearted performances because you don't give a damn anymore or do you pull yourself up by the bootstraps, say to hell with coming fourth and sing the perfect hell out of every song that comes your way in the slim chance that you might actually have more of a fan base than you think? Team Kate has well and truly taken the latter course of action and I say ‘bravo’.
Impossible Dream. Possibly my favourite Kate performance (and as Red noted this morning : Memo from Mark to Kate, IOU one (1) touchdown). She looked amazing (except for the panda eyeliner on her bottom lid) and sounded fantastic. She built this slowly up to a lovely crescendo. That final note could have been bigger and better but I think she was feeling the emotion of the song (coupled with her voice issues from the last week) and held back on it a little so she could control the note better. I found the performance quite moving. I quite simply love her.
Pretty much whatever the hell they want to sing Week because there are only three left
Heaven. Kate is good. Kate hits all the right notes. She sings the absolute bollocks out of this song to the point that Impossible Dream hangs its head in shame and slinks to the back of the Best Songs Kate Has Performed On Idol line. But Mark has his hate-on so very very hard for Kate and I get so angry with him that a cloud of red rage envelops me like PigPen from Charlie Brown. It reminds me of Mark saying on Inside Idol before the Elvis week that if she didn’t get a touchdown from him for Impossible Dream that she should be going home. I scream this in an incoherent manner at Fosse who flinches on the sofa and gets that look on his face, the look that says just agree with everything she says and maybe she won’t kill me in my sleep.
Like A Prayer. Kate is good. Kate hits all the right notes. She doesn’t so much sing the bollocks out of this song, but she has an awesome time on stage and it as infectious as bird flu. I can’t stop smiling as she sings but say (in a much calmer tone because the judges haven’t started ripping her to pieces yet) that she will never ever get a touchdown from Mark because he’s a complete wanker who hates Kate so very very much. Fosse gets that look on his face, the look that says he thinks it’s a very real possibility that Charles Manson had a child nobody knows about who grew up in a small country town in the north-west of Western Australia and eventually moved to Melbourne, started watching Idol and writing a blog and who one day . . . just snapped.Kate does not get a touchdown. Kate gets slapped down again and basically told that they don’t want her in the final two. She is ridiculously professional about it all for a nineteen year old being humiliated on national television for being consistently competent and pitch perfect. At nineteen its entirely possible I would have leapt off the stage and started bitch slapping someone. Hell, that’s possible now . . .
The Final Two
Maybe Tonight – The Idol Winner’s song makes me feel slightly less nauseated and sugary than previous years (specifically the travesty that Poor Poor Casey had to release) but it also makes me giddily wish for a second that we had gotten to hear the punk’d up DeadtomeOnetrickpony version. Kate’s singing is husky and soulful and I find myself enjoying it. I check my pulse to ensure I haven’t gone into a diabetic coma.
Shackles – Kate sings this really well, but I just want her to kick it up a freakin’ notch. She visibly reins herself in from going over the top, which I don’t fully understand. This song should make me want to get up and dance but I make do with a little chair dancing instead. Its not the same. Sigh.
How Could An Angel Break My Heart – well, for starters SHE MIGHT SING A SONG CO-WRITTEN BY BABYFACE. Gahhhhhhhhhhang on. This is actually quite . . . well, its . . . nice . . . she builds it well and it soars in the chorus and Competent Kate hits all the right notes again again. It’s a touch bland and less than memorable but she sings so well and I’m so horribly biased and she can do no wrong in my eyes, that I actually start wishing she would sing that nice Bryan Adams song from that wonderful Robin Hood movie that the not at all overrated Kevin Costner was in. It occurs to me that I’m going into sugar shock and I hurriedly inject myself with insulin and eat a garden salad.
Opera House
Awesomeness occurs. Marcia and Mark wear a ridiculous amount of bitchface and Kyle is basically the only judge to publically applaud Team Kate as the winner. I realise I'm going to voluntarily buy an Idol album that Chanel has absolutely no connection with. I am unsure how I feel about this . . .
Top 30 performance
Kate – the love child of Renee Geyer and Sting. Nice husky vocal chords. Kate lulled me into thinking she was just another Queen of Mugging and then she shazaam-ed me with her song. Just great, but she needs to stop bollocksing around with her hair and letting them turn her into too much of a girl if she’s that uncomfortable with it. Deserves to be Top Three, but with Tarni making it through last week there may not be enough room for her.
Australian Week
Ladies and Gentleman, the best female performance of the night, I give you Kate. Lovely work, Clone of Renee Geyer. It finished . . . weird, but it was beautifully and soulfully done. Just lovely.
60’s Week
(Kate has) All My Loving.Best performance of the night. I LOVE this girl more and more each week (‘ware Roxane, you’re slipping). She has mixed it up, ballad last week, uptempo number this week – she’s showing us range, she’s pitch perfect with everything she sings and she just plain out-awesome’s everyone around her.
Rock Supergroups
Kate? I . . . don’t understand. Why are you not great? Did your kitty die? Is it because the Eagles lost? The first time I’ve heard Pitchy Kate, Breathy Kate and Slightly Off Tune Kate. I am saddened, I don’t like this Kate, I want Great Kate back. She’s still fabulous though (and was awesome at the AFL Grand Final at the weekend and the only one who sounded even halfway decent).
Ahem.
TUCKSHOP ARMS. TUCKSHOP ARMS???!!! Fuuuuuuuuuuck off Kyle.
Contestants Choice
I heart Kate. With every fibre of my being. Shheeeeeeee’s baaaaaaaaack. Rebounding back from the lacklustre-ness that was Kate Doing Queen, Kate takes a pass from Anastacia, Harlem Globe Trotter’s her way down the court and slamDUNKS the ball, shattering the backboard and scoring two much needed points for Team Kate. Kate’s lower register is still a little weak sometimes but she has an infectious vibrancy and a glow that translates ridiculously well onscreen. I still find it hard to believe that this girl is only nineteen, because her professionalism and maturity outstrips most of the other contestants. Kate has officially taken up the title of TallulahBelle’s Favourite Idol This Year. Go Team Kate!
Big Band
Lets get ready to RUUUUUMBLE. TeamKate tackles Anne for best performance of the night but Anne totally flips her and pins her to the floor (oooh, look at me with all the sports analogies! I’m sorry, I’ll stop now – mostly because I’m getting out of my depth.) Kate was still fantastic, at Chez Shaneequa we could only pick one obviously pitch weak moment, the rest was vocally without flaw. This girl is just fab and I admire the hell out of her for coming in every week and doing great work. Both Anne and Kate do consistently well and out perform the majority of the other contestants, but week after week they seem to be damned with faint praise. Colour me confused.
80’s Week
TeamKate should be a little worried tonight. There is a very real chance, she’ll bottom three tonight, although if I had my way she’d be one of the final two standing in this comp. I thought she was joyful tonight, very infectious. She was enjoying herself on stage and I loved the ponytail, I just wish she’d done some Madonna or Cher – that would have been awesome. I don’t get what Holden is talking about, I don’t think of this song as a song about passion, but rather a song of joy and happiness which I thought she totally nailed. It’s Chaka Khan, not Don’t Cry For Me Argentina. Buuuuut. Not my favourite Kate performance and I am concerned for her.
Up Close & Personal
Ironic – Alanis Morissette. I really liked what TeamKate did with this song. She fiddled nicely with the melody and ‘put her own stamp’ on it. I do kind of wish she’d picked one of Alanis’ better songs but out of all the Idols she was the only one to pick something that probably 95% of the audience will recognise, which surely works in her favour. I just want her to mix it up a little bit more.
Mo-town
I Wish - Stevie Wonder. I only caught the tail end of this on my first viewing so initially my only reaction was to scream at the tv screen as Asshat Kyle waxed long and lyrical about the FUCKING TAN LINES under Kate’s arms. Yes, read that again. The TAN LINES. If it was not already screamingly obvious that this man knows as much about the music industry as I do about the breeding habits of the mongoose, then it REALLY is now. You see, I know the mongoose exists, I know that there have been mongeese in the past and can posit the theory that there will be mongeese in the future, therefore the mongoose must possess breeding habits. But I don’t know what or how they work, so I don’t pretend to be an expert on the subject and appear on Australian Mongoose and give my opinion to the previously perfectly happy and healthy mongeese who worked their little mongeesey butts off to get to the Final Six ONLY to be told they’ll never make it in the industry because although they killed that snake perfectly, they don’t have the sartorial elegance to pull off walking the red carpet as they have stubby tails and the fur on their heads doesn’t match the fur on their hind legs as pleasingly as it could. Ass.Upon second viewing I concurred with the opinions of most. She rocked. I love her and wish her all the best as the Person Who Comes Second In Australian Idol And Somehow Does Better Than The Winner.
70’s Week (Or Songs They Should Have Done by Bowie)
The Man Who Sold The World. Anyone who caught Rockstar INXS and saw Jordis sing this song can appreciate what a melancholy song this can be if given the husky vocal treatment that our girl Kate does so very very well. It would have had me in tears of appreciation and thanks, as opposed to the tears of rage that Lady Marmalade brought me to. Karaoke. Pure and simple and I’ve been disappointed since Idol Extra that she had chosen this song. I was horrified that she then sang the fucking Moulin Rouge version and did the bullshit Xtina ‘yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah’ bits and aghast when she stuffed up. But she covered it well, continued to hit almost all the notes and was only slightly pitchy. Imagine my absolute dumsquizzlement when Marcia and Kyle said she was ill. There was general agreement in the ChezBelle household that she kicked ass, considering. And speaking of asses in desperate need of kicking . . . Mark? SHUT UP. Kate is an absolute professional who did a great job, I just despair at her song choice. She hasn’t been bottom three yet, but I think tonight is the night and I wouldn’t be surprised if the first time is the last time and we say our final fare thee well to her . . .
Elvis Week
Burning Love. I really enjoyed this. It wasn’t perfect, but it was pitch perfect and by GOD, she looked like she was having fun. Imagine that you are Kate for a moment. Everyone around you has received a touchdown. At one point or another in the competition the other three contestants have been told they will probably win Idol or have a long wonderful career ahead of them. Whenever you go to meetNgreets the crowds scream their little girly lungs out for Lee/Emily and occasionally DreadyDan. You make the final four and it hits you. You’re Hayley from Season Two. You have a lovely voice, a charming personality but everyone seems a little confused as to how you’ve made it as far as you have. Now I personally prefer Kate’s voice to Hayley and think that Kate deserves to be final two, but history (Paulini and Hayley) tells us that fourth is as good as she gets. Do you mope around and give halfhearted performances because you don't give a damn anymore or do you pull yourself up by the bootstraps, say to hell with coming fourth and sing the perfect hell out of every song that comes your way in the slim chance that you might actually have more of a fan base than you think? Team Kate has well and truly taken the latter course of action and I say ‘bravo’.
Impossible Dream. Possibly my favourite Kate performance (and as Red noted this morning : Memo from Mark to Kate, IOU one (1) touchdown). She looked amazing (except for the panda eyeliner on her bottom lid) and sounded fantastic. She built this slowly up to a lovely crescendo. That final note could have been bigger and better but I think she was feeling the emotion of the song (coupled with her voice issues from the last week) and held back on it a little so she could control the note better. I found the performance quite moving. I quite simply love her.
Pretty much whatever the hell they want to sing Week because there are only three left
Heaven. Kate is good. Kate hits all the right notes. She sings the absolute bollocks out of this song to the point that Impossible Dream hangs its head in shame and slinks to the back of the Best Songs Kate Has Performed On Idol line. But Mark has his hate-on so very very hard for Kate and I get so angry with him that a cloud of red rage envelops me like PigPen from Charlie Brown. It reminds me of Mark saying on Inside Idol before the Elvis week that if she didn’t get a touchdown from him for Impossible Dream that she should be going home. I scream this in an incoherent manner at Fosse who flinches on the sofa and gets that look on his face, the look that says just agree with everything she says and maybe she won’t kill me in my sleep.
Like A Prayer. Kate is good. Kate hits all the right notes. She doesn’t so much sing the bollocks out of this song, but she has an awesome time on stage and it as infectious as bird flu. I can’t stop smiling as she sings but say (in a much calmer tone because the judges haven’t started ripping her to pieces yet) that she will never ever get a touchdown from Mark because he’s a complete wanker who hates Kate so very very much. Fosse gets that look on his face, the look that says he thinks it’s a very real possibility that Charles Manson had a child nobody knows about who grew up in a small country town in the north-west of Western Australia and eventually moved to Melbourne, started watching Idol and writing a blog and who one day . . . just snapped.Kate does not get a touchdown. Kate gets slapped down again and basically told that they don’t want her in the final two. She is ridiculously professional about it all for a nineteen year old being humiliated on national television for being consistently competent and pitch perfect. At nineteen its entirely possible I would have leapt off the stage and started bitch slapping someone. Hell, that’s possible now . . .
The Final Two
Maybe Tonight – The Idol Winner’s song makes me feel slightly less nauseated and sugary than previous years (specifically the travesty that Poor Poor Casey had to release) but it also makes me giddily wish for a second that we had gotten to hear the punk’d up DeadtomeOnetrickpony version. Kate’s singing is husky and soulful and I find myself enjoying it. I check my pulse to ensure I haven’t gone into a diabetic coma.
Shackles – Kate sings this really well, but I just want her to kick it up a freakin’ notch. She visibly reins herself in from going over the top, which I don’t fully understand. This song should make me want to get up and dance but I make do with a little chair dancing instead. Its not the same. Sigh.
How Could An Angel Break My Heart – well, for starters SHE MIGHT SING A SONG CO-WRITTEN BY BABYFACE. Gahhhhhhhhhhang on. This is actually quite . . . well, its . . . nice . . . she builds it well and it soars in the chorus and Competent Kate hits all the right notes again again. It’s a touch bland and less than memorable but she sings so well and I’m so horribly biased and she can do no wrong in my eyes, that I actually start wishing she would sing that nice Bryan Adams song from that wonderful Robin Hood movie that the not at all overrated Kevin Costner was in. It occurs to me that I’m going into sugar shock and I hurriedly inject myself with insulin and eat a garden salad.
Opera House
Awesomeness occurs. Marcia and Mark wear a ridiculous amount of bitchface and Kyle is basically the only judge to publically applaud Team Kate as the winner. I realise I'm going to voluntarily buy an Idol album that Chanel has absolutely no connection with. I am unsure how I feel about this . . .
Monday, November 21, 2005
If an Idol falls in the forest.
Idol. Something visible but without substance.
Lame. Weak and ineffectual, unsatisfactory.
Dull. Dispirited, depressed. Not clear or resonant.
Bland. Having little or no distinctive flavour.
Kinda sums up this season, don’t it? More accurately, it sums up the final Sunday night performance show of Season Three. Battle of the Diva’s turned out to be less Emily and Kate going head to head in a glorious grudge match to the bloody end, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome style (two Idol’s enter, one Idol leaves), and ended up being a little bit more like what you would expect a Celebrity Fight between the brothers Crane to be (if say, Niles had dissed Foucault and then favourably compared the grapes of the Napa Valley to those from the banks of the Gironde river - I mean really, you just know Frasier ain’t having none of that shit, holmes.) In other words . . . . well, I have no other words, I just direct you back to the list of words atop this paragraph.
I fast forwarded through most of the bullshit talking so missed why the judges aren’t talking after each performace, I presume to avoid any and all touchdown bias. Doesn’t matter why, I heartily applaud the move anyway . . .
Team Kate
Maybe Tonight – The Idol Winner’s song makes me feel slightly less nauseated and sugary than previous years (specifically the travesty that Poor Poor Casey had to release) but it also makes me giddily wish for a second that we had gotten to hear the punk’d up DeadtomeOnetrickpony version. Kate’s singing is husky and soulful and I find myself enjoying it. I check my pulse to ensure I haven’t gone into a diabetic coma.
Shackles – Kate sings this really well, but I just want her to kick it up a freakin’ notch. She visibly reins herself in from going over the top, which I don’t fully understand. This song should make me want to get up and dance but I make do with a little chair dancing instead. Its not the same. Sigh.
How Could An Angel Break My Heart – well, for starters SHE MIGHT SING A SONG CO-WRITTEN BY BABYFACE. Gahhhhhhhhhhang on. This is actually quite . . . well, its . . . nice . . . she builds it well and it soars in the chorus and Competent Kate hits all the right notes again again. It’s a touch bland and less than memorable but she sings so well and I’m so horribly biased and she can do no wrong in my eyes, that I actually start wishing she would sing that nice Bryan Adams song from that wonderful Robin Hood movie that the not at all overrated Kevin Costner was in. It occurs to me that I’m going into sugar shock and I hurriedly inject myself with insulin and eat a garden salad.
Ch 10 advertises Veronica Mars. I smile smugly in the direction of the Veronica Mars first season DVD set that is currently taking over mine and Fosse’s life . . .
Ch 10 advertises Smallville. I don’t get it, but am nonetheless happy for Shaneequa and sad for the Charmed fans who seem to have been shortchanged this season.
Emily the maybe not so Anointed One
I promised myself I would not be unduly biased, that I would view Emily’s final three performances with as much neutrality as possible and draw on all my singing lessons and history and critique her fairly but Emily took that choice away from me by being flat out awful on two of her three songs. You have been warned. (also? Emily’s stock footage that I fastforwarded through seemed to altenate between her crying and getting touchdowns. MAN, will I be glad when this season is over . . . )
Emotions - the Bee Gee’s and Melodies & Harmonies of the World discuss the cost of hiring a lawyer. Emily, WHAT have you done to their song? It gets slightly better when she hits the chorus, but then she goes back to the verse and I shrink in horror again. Chicks don’t have a falsetto but it feels like that’s what she’s trying to do. Emily’s voice is trembly. Wow, is she nervous or what?
Since You’ve Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson has a KICK ass live voice and even she can’t do this song justice live. Singing this on Idol Extra with John and Erana I thought Emily sounded iffy and boy oh boy, was I right. Her lower register sounds terribly flat and the glory note is so unnecessarily shrieky that MY vocal cords hurt when she throws it against the wall and beats the living daylights out of it. While Emily was singing this song I started to think that maybe Kate was in with a chance to win this thing . . .
Maybe Tonight – but then Emily sang this. And I have to say, I think she sang it better and that it is arranged smart-er than Kate's version. They both sang it well, but Emily’s was definitely more mainstream, infinitely more commercial and the last performance of the night, which can’t hurt. And if Emily wins tonight, I think it might be on the strength of her very last performance. It really suits Emily’s style of singing, she’s finally confident and she sings it well. Damn.
The judges speak :
Marcia : “You go girls.” Riiiiiight. Sod off for another year Marcia, you are officially of no use to anybody. Oh, and Shut Up.
Mark : “A duet would be good”. A duet. Between these two? Wow, yeah, that act . . . ually wouldn't suck at all. Huh. So what you’re saying is you’re choosing now to say something that actually makes a skerrit of musical sense? Duuuuuuuuude. Shut up Mark.
Kyle : Babbles about nothing of any importance or interest to anybody until he says not to vote unless you’re planning to buy the winners CD. I furrow my brow in acknowledgement and concern at Wisdom From Kyle and start texting Kate’s name to 19 10 10 anyway. And just for the pure hell of it (and just like last years final) I text Chanel’s name as well. And then Tim’s. It can’t hurt, right?
(The original idea for this blog may have been blatantly stolen from the lovely Guru G. I’m sure she understands . . .)
Lame. Weak and ineffectual, unsatisfactory.
Dull. Dispirited, depressed. Not clear or resonant.
Bland. Having little or no distinctive flavour.
Kinda sums up this season, don’t it? More accurately, it sums up the final Sunday night performance show of Season Three. Battle of the Diva’s turned out to be less Emily and Kate going head to head in a glorious grudge match to the bloody end, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome style (two Idol’s enter, one Idol leaves), and ended up being a little bit more like what you would expect a Celebrity Fight between the brothers Crane to be (if say, Niles had dissed Foucault and then favourably compared the grapes of the Napa Valley to those from the banks of the Gironde river - I mean really, you just know Frasier ain’t having none of that shit, holmes.) In other words . . . . well, I have no other words, I just direct you back to the list of words atop this paragraph.
I fast forwarded through most of the bullshit talking so missed why the judges aren’t talking after each performace, I presume to avoid any and all touchdown bias. Doesn’t matter why, I heartily applaud the move anyway . . .
Team Kate
Maybe Tonight – The Idol Winner’s song makes me feel slightly less nauseated and sugary than previous years (specifically the travesty that Poor Poor Casey had to release) but it also makes me giddily wish for a second that we had gotten to hear the punk’d up DeadtomeOnetrickpony version. Kate’s singing is husky and soulful and I find myself enjoying it. I check my pulse to ensure I haven’t gone into a diabetic coma.
Shackles – Kate sings this really well, but I just want her to kick it up a freakin’ notch. She visibly reins herself in from going over the top, which I don’t fully understand. This song should make me want to get up and dance but I make do with a little chair dancing instead. Its not the same. Sigh.
How Could An Angel Break My Heart – well, for starters SHE MIGHT SING A SONG CO-WRITTEN BY BABYFACE. Gahhhhhhhhhhang on. This is actually quite . . . well, its . . . nice . . . she builds it well and it soars in the chorus and Competent Kate hits all the right notes again again. It’s a touch bland and less than memorable but she sings so well and I’m so horribly biased and she can do no wrong in my eyes, that I actually start wishing she would sing that nice Bryan Adams song from that wonderful Robin Hood movie that the not at all overrated Kevin Costner was in. It occurs to me that I’m going into sugar shock and I hurriedly inject myself with insulin and eat a garden salad.
Ch 10 advertises Veronica Mars. I smile smugly in the direction of the Veronica Mars first season DVD set that is currently taking over mine and Fosse’s life . . .
Ch 10 advertises Smallville. I don’t get it, but am nonetheless happy for Shaneequa and sad for the Charmed fans who seem to have been shortchanged this season.
Emily the maybe not so Anointed One
I promised myself I would not be unduly biased, that I would view Emily’s final three performances with as much neutrality as possible and draw on all my singing lessons and history and critique her fairly but Emily took that choice away from me by being flat out awful on two of her three songs. You have been warned. (also? Emily’s stock footage that I fastforwarded through seemed to altenate between her crying and getting touchdowns. MAN, will I be glad when this season is over . . . )
Emotions - the Bee Gee’s and Melodies & Harmonies of the World discuss the cost of hiring a lawyer. Emily, WHAT have you done to their song? It gets slightly better when she hits the chorus, but then she goes back to the verse and I shrink in horror again. Chicks don’t have a falsetto but it feels like that’s what she’s trying to do. Emily’s voice is trembly. Wow, is she nervous or what?
Since You’ve Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson has a KICK ass live voice and even she can’t do this song justice live. Singing this on Idol Extra with John and Erana I thought Emily sounded iffy and boy oh boy, was I right. Her lower register sounds terribly flat and the glory note is so unnecessarily shrieky that MY vocal cords hurt when she throws it against the wall and beats the living daylights out of it. While Emily was singing this song I started to think that maybe Kate was in with a chance to win this thing . . .
Maybe Tonight – but then Emily sang this. And I have to say, I think she sang it better and that it is arranged smart-er than Kate's version. They both sang it well, but Emily’s was definitely more mainstream, infinitely more commercial and the last performance of the night, which can’t hurt. And if Emily wins tonight, I think it might be on the strength of her very last performance. It really suits Emily’s style of singing, she’s finally confident and she sings it well. Damn.
The judges speak :
Marcia : “You go girls.” Riiiiiight. Sod off for another year Marcia, you are officially of no use to anybody. Oh, and Shut Up.
Mark : “A duet would be good”. A duet. Between these two? Wow, yeah, that act . . . ually wouldn't suck at all. Huh. So what you’re saying is you’re choosing now to say something that actually makes a skerrit of musical sense? Duuuuuuuuude. Shut up Mark.
Kyle : Babbles about nothing of any importance or interest to anybody until he says not to vote unless you’re planning to buy the winners CD. I furrow my brow in acknowledgement and concern at Wisdom From Kyle and start texting Kate’s name to 19 10 10 anyway. And just for the pure hell of it (and just like last years final) I text Chanel’s name as well. And then Tim’s. It can’t hurt, right?
(The original idea for this blog may have been blatantly stolen from the lovely Guru G. I’m sure she understands . . .)
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
And after I forgave you for Batman.
Well. Haven’t I gotten myself into quite the pickle? Thinking I could make wild extravagant promises because I wouldn’t have to follow through on them. Well, George showed me, didn’t he? Never underestimate the power of the Clooney. The Pony is gone and here I am, stuck in a position most of my (so called) friends will gleefully tell you, I am not relishing in the slightest. I have to tell a boy that I like him.
Ye gods.
I don’t have the slightest inkling of a burgeoning sprite of an idea how Bruno will take this. I don’t even know 100% for sure that he doesn’t have an existing girlfriend that I just haven’t heard about because I don’t ask the right questions. Or if he’s gay. Or recently divorced. Or even worse, a scientologist.
I do know this much. He’s funny, clever, enjoys taking the piss out of me, is freakishly knowledgeable about movies I’ve never heard of, has an adorable smile and some of the best forearms I’ve seen outside of an episode of early season three ER. In other words, I find him quite attractive.
But you could fill fourteen Olympic sized swimming pools with the fear inside me when it comes to actively flirting with a boy I like. A boy I don’t like? I am Flirty McSkirtoff. But present me with one who actually makes my heart go pitty pat that little bit faster and I delve fully into my mucho aggressive ‘I’m funnier than you, and clever-er and you don’t impress me one little bit with your beautifully brown eyes’ mode that apparently fails to get across my attraction. Strange huh? Surely my caustic, burning wit coupled with the ability to drop an ace punch line immaculately into the conversation at the pitch perfect moment, followed by stalking away nonchalantly because I don’t care if you have anything to add because can’t you see that I’m done? is the best possible way to meet and attract men. Right?
Apparently not. Apparently, men can’t read my mind and don’t necessarily know that when I’m being a total bitch to them it usually means I’m besotted. Apparently, men have forgotten that they used to be the boys who pushed the girl they liked over in the play yard. Or (and more likely) men have moved on and I’ve been left behind with retarded social skills that would appear to have screeched to a halt at the same time that the rest of me hit puberty.
Yes, this will be a massive step for me. History (mine) says it won’t go well. I’ve never been good at relaying my emotions in the non-written sense. Speaking involves saliva and my tongue seems to swell to three times its normal size and there’s no spell check. Oh and for those who have already been asking how it went, I will be waiting until AFTER the play is finished. We play husband and wife, which involves a lot of handholding and cuddling (no, there’s no kissing. Freaks.) and if I throw open the door of my heart and he hurriedly shuts it (I'd like to formally apologise for that analogy), I would rather we not have to continue performing with any uncomfortable . . . . uncomfortableness. So in under two weeks at the cast party it shall be, regardless of how hideously cliché that is.
To quote Ferris Bueller : Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
So this is me. Trying not to miss it. Ye gods.
I ask that it please be gentle.
Ye gods.
I don’t have the slightest inkling of a burgeoning sprite of an idea how Bruno will take this. I don’t even know 100% for sure that he doesn’t have an existing girlfriend that I just haven’t heard about because I don’t ask the right questions. Or if he’s gay. Or recently divorced. Or even worse, a scientologist.
I do know this much. He’s funny, clever, enjoys taking the piss out of me, is freakishly knowledgeable about movies I’ve never heard of, has an adorable smile and some of the best forearms I’ve seen outside of an episode of early season three ER. In other words, I find him quite attractive.
But you could fill fourteen Olympic sized swimming pools with the fear inside me when it comes to actively flirting with a boy I like. A boy I don’t like? I am Flirty McSkirtoff. But present me with one who actually makes my heart go pitty pat that little bit faster and I delve fully into my mucho aggressive ‘I’m funnier than you, and clever-er and you don’t impress me one little bit with your beautifully brown eyes’ mode that apparently fails to get across my attraction. Strange huh? Surely my caustic, burning wit coupled with the ability to drop an ace punch line immaculately into the conversation at the pitch perfect moment, followed by stalking away nonchalantly because I don’t care if you have anything to add because can’t you see that I’m done? is the best possible way to meet and attract men. Right?
Apparently not. Apparently, men can’t read my mind and don’t necessarily know that when I’m being a total bitch to them it usually means I’m besotted. Apparently, men have forgotten that they used to be the boys who pushed the girl they liked over in the play yard. Or (and more likely) men have moved on and I’ve been left behind with retarded social skills that would appear to have screeched to a halt at the same time that the rest of me hit puberty.
Yes, this will be a massive step for me. History (mine) says it won’t go well. I’ve never been good at relaying my emotions in the non-written sense. Speaking involves saliva and my tongue seems to swell to three times its normal size and there’s no spell check. Oh and for those who have already been asking how it went, I will be waiting until AFTER the play is finished. We play husband and wife, which involves a lot of handholding and cuddling (no, there’s no kissing. Freaks.) and if I throw open the door of my heart and he hurriedly shuts it (I'd like to formally apologise for that analogy), I would rather we not have to continue performing with any uncomfortable . . . . uncomfortableness. So in under two weeks at the cast party it shall be, regardless of how hideously cliché that is.
To quote Ferris Bueller : Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
So this is me. Trying not to miss it. Ye gods.
I ask that it please be gentle.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Paging Doctor Seuss
An ode to DeadtomeOnetrickponyLee
I do not like him, I do not,
Not on my toast, not on a yacht.
I wouldn’t mind him in a cage,
But will not stand for him on Rage.
He can’t be Idol, not for real?
Does not impress, does not appeal!
I would not, could not let him sing,
He’s just plain bad, and here’s the thing -
If he is Idol, I shall scheme,
And hire a torturer to make him scream.
And if they catch me, “care not” I’ll say
“For he deserved to die this day”
In jail I’ll sit gladly, for my wicked plot
For I do not like him, I do not.
Team Kate
Heaven. Kate is good. Kate hits all the right notes. She sings the absolute bollocks out of this song to the point that Impossible Dream hangs its head in shame and slinks to the back of the Best Songs Kate Has Performed On Idol line. But Mark has his hate-on so very very hard for Kate and I get so angry with him that a cloud of red rage envelops me like PigPen from Charlie Brown. It reminds me of Mark saying on Inside Idol before the Elvis week that if she didn’t get a touchdown from him for Impossible Dream that she should be going home. I scream this in an incoherent manner at Fosse who flinches on the sofa and gets that look on his face, the look that says just agree with everything she says and maybe she won’t kill me in my sleep.
I do not like him, I do not,
Not on my toast, not on a yacht.
I wouldn’t mind him in a cage,
But will not stand for him on Rage.
He can’t be Idol, not for real?
Does not impress, does not appeal!
I would not, could not let him sing,
He’s just plain bad, and here’s the thing -
If he is Idol, I shall scheme,
And hire a torturer to make him scream.
And if they catch me, “care not” I’ll say
“For he deserved to die this day”
In jail I’ll sit gladly, for my wicked plot
For I do not like him, I do not.
Team Kate
Heaven. Kate is good. Kate hits all the right notes. She sings the absolute bollocks out of this song to the point that Impossible Dream hangs its head in shame and slinks to the back of the Best Songs Kate Has Performed On Idol line. But Mark has his hate-on so very very hard for Kate and I get so angry with him that a cloud of red rage envelops me like PigPen from Charlie Brown. It reminds me of Mark saying on Inside Idol before the Elvis week that if she didn’t get a touchdown from him for Impossible Dream that she should be going home. I scream this in an incoherent manner at Fosse who flinches on the sofa and gets that look on his face, the look that says just agree with everything she says and maybe she won’t kill me in my sleep.
Like A Prayer. Kate is good. Kate hits all the right notes. She doesn’t so much sing the bollocks out of this song, but she has an awesome time on stage and it as infectious as bird flu. I can’t stop smiling as she sings but say (in a much calmer tone because the judges haven’t started ripping her to pieces yet) that she will never ever get a touchdown from Mark because he’s a complete wanker who hates Kate so very very much. Fosse gets that look on his face, the look that says he thinks it’s a very real possibility that Charles Manson had a child nobody knows about who grew up in a small country town in the north-west of Western Australia and eventually moved to Melbourne, started watching Idol and writing a blog and who one day . . . just snapped.
Kate does not get a touchdown. Kate gets slapped down again and basically told that they don’t want her in the final two. She is ridiculously professional about it all for a nineteen year old being humiliated on national television for being consistently competent and pitch perfect. At nineteen its entirely possible I would have leapt off the stage and started bitch slapping someone. Hell, that’s possible now . . .
DeadtomeOnetrickponyLee
Faith. DtmOtpL sucks all the sex out of this song and somewhere George Michael suddenly decides he might give girls a go for once. He is tuneless and the slow bit is particularly painful so it is almost a relief when he drops George’s version and awkwardly segues into the Limp Bizkit version. He hurts my head and my eyes. I beg him to stop. The judges don’t like his arrangement. I don’t like his very existence any more. I read old blogs where I liked him and it saddens me greatly. Mark calls him a one trick pony and right before my head explodes I scream at Fosse that he’s reading my blog. Fosse just looks pained.
Tainted Love. Pony doesn’t even try to do the Soft Cell version but jumps straight into the Living End one. He actually mimes the lyrics. I am not making this shit up. HE MIMES THE LYRICS. Girls scream, a couple of little boys in the front dance frantically, I cry for the Youth of Today. The judges love it to little tiny pieces. Mark says he wanted something more melodic and the Pony gave it to him. I ask Fosse if I just had a stroke and if I’m still speaking English because obviously Mark and I have different ideas of what melody is. Fosse wearily answers that we are quite simply not the demographic Pony is aimed at. I wish he was aimed out of a cannon into the same shark infested pool that this show is currently jumping.
Emily the Coldly Anointed One
Baby, One More Time. Emily doesn’t suit this song, her lower register is too weak and can barely be picked up by the microphone. She does some weird dance moves and tries to liven up the end by shrieking and wailing and I can’t muster the strength to even hate her anymore. I perk up a little when Kyle disses her, but he is shouted down by Marcia and Mark. I sulkily whisper a Shut Up Marcia under my breath but my heart isn’t in it anymore.
I Will Always Love You. I will always hate this song unless I am watching Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and Dolly is singing it about Smokey and the Bandit and even then by the time she gets to this song I’ve usually flicked to another channel because – Burt Reynolds? Ugh. I thought Emily would actually sing this better than she did, her upper register seems to lack a little control and too much vibrato but she is still a thousand times better than the Pony, I don’t care how entertaining he is. Her IWALY looks down its nose at the Pony’s Ben and sneers menacingly, causing it to whimper and run away. She gets a faux touchdown from Holden. He says he’s going to sit on his hands because he doesn’t want to manipulate or influence the voting in any way, but then proceeds to say Australia should vote in the best singer and barely contains himself from running up on stage and shouting that we shouldn’t continue with this sham of a competition because Emily is the winner, right??!! I hate him with every fibre of my being.
Final Two – I would love the final two to be Emily and Kate, I really would. I don’t particularly like Emily’s style of performing – the constant glorying noting, the humble tears, those RIDICULOUSLY large hoop earrings she wears, I think Emily is my punishment for being allowed Chanel last year – but nonetheless, I think she and Kate deserve to be the Final Two standing. But I’ve tipped Kate to go because, well, my mama didn’t raise no fool and 27 votes last week aside, if Lee actually goes tonight I will be surprised. **
**Fosse made a deal with whatever higher being he believes in (Judy Garland, I think) that he would be a good boy from now on if the Pony left tonight. I made him take it back - because you shouldn’t promise what you can’t deliver, right? – and instead promised the higher being I believe in (George Clooney) that if the Pony leaves tonight and we get Battle of the Diva’s and I get to yell Lets Get Ready To Rumble on the final performance night I will give that boy that I have a crush on that I’m in the play with (lets call him Bruno) my phone number. This is a mammoth step for me.
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